The One With The Prediction

Today was yet another long hours of waiting at the clinic. My Bp was ok: 130/80, the nurse said.

Last Thursday was 120/70. A personal record break I must say lol! Then the doc saw my swollen feet. Asking me whether I was fine or not, I said, "Sure, I am!" Being admitted to ward is just the last thing I want at the moment. I still got too many things to do before my time is up!

Last Friday hubby took me to Lumapas to see a family midwife for another massage. She predicted that I wouldn't have til the next three weeks to labour, but would be able to go through a week with my big tummy. In other words, I'd be promoted to motherhood in two weeks time the most as the baby's head is now in its right position down below. No wonder I've been experiencing extreme discomfort especially while walking lately. All I ever want to do is lie down. Rest. Immobile.

So, having told the "prediction", hubby and I spent our Sunday getting everything ready and packed. List checked. New items washed and dried. And today, we bought our second baby crib for Lambak home. We bought another last month for Katok. This morning we had a chat on our way to the clinic, figuring out what needed to be bought and such. Then came the talk on the baby. Are we ready? We should be coz we had always wanted this. Can we do this? We're not sure, but surely we'll do our best. Can we imagine having a baby around in the next two or three weeks? We both said, no. We don't know what to expect. We don't know how to react. We don't whether we would know the right thing to do when our junior arrives. But for sure, we will be extremely happy when that time comes. We can't wait to meet our bundle of joy. We always wonder how our baby will look like; would it have my smile? Or its daddy's long lashes? Or would it have my curly hair? Or would it have Sharul's big eyes? Definitely can't wait to see our lil one :-) I wish to deliver normally, but due to my asthmatic condition that comes and goes, the doc said that I should expect to have a c-section instead. Either way, perhaps I should just let it be and leave everything to God. I had almost lost my baby back in August last year. Now, all I care is its safety, although I have to go though all the pain in the world just to ensure it safe in our arms eventually. We will be fine. I can still hear the midwife's prediction of my delivery: "If you were to give birth naturally, it will be very easy for you as baby is ready to come out. Soon!" All I could hear Sharul say to that was: "Aamiiin...." And I need you to say that too :-)

The One With The Planning

Today was spent on figuring out what to teach in the next 8 weeks I am at school. My sister peeked through what I was doing and all she said was, "You're nuts!" LoL! Well, maybe I am. Some teachers out there may still be enjoying their last few days of holidays, but surely there are not little number of teachers who have started their internal engines to forego or foredo what needs to be done. Call us crazy, but yes. That is what we are doing uhuk... uhuk...

In between lappy session, the hubby texted me that he had just bought a big luggage bag to pack all the stuff that I had requested him to buy: lots and lots of muslimah scarfs (coz it is super difficult to get an XL size scarf here), and of course, stationery for my teaching aids and for my kids during group work. Altogether, they might've cost him to carry at least 40kg of my stuff back home. Thank you sayang for going extra miles for me, and so so sorry for the trouble I have caused you... I love you.....

So my baby will be home tomorrow afternoon via Labuan. I shall pick him up at Muara Ferry Terminal. Can't wait to see him. We have missed him so much!!

Okay, time to bed. Tomorrow morning is yet another visit to the clinic. Hopefully my blood pressure is normal tomorrow. Spending extra hours at the Day Care Centre is just the last thing I want to do at the moment. Somehow, I need longer napping hours as I wake up almost every strike of hourly time at night to pee. Yet, I also avoid taking afternoon naps lately coz that would cause me to stay up late like til 3:00 a.m. Something that would cause the kicks in the tummy going wilder!

Alright. Time to log off. See you all soon. Cheers!

The One Without Him...

Hi all.. How have you been? Funny thing is, I just figured out how to log in here, again, after for so long. The thing is, I had opened another blog that I was required to when I attended the course in East West Center a few months ago, but using my gmail account. Believe me, I have always wanted to update news and stories and such (like I used to) for quite a while now, but every time I did try to, I always ended up loggin in to the other, shall I call it... educational blog.

Anyway, everything is going on well. My other half is now in KL with his cousin. I was supposed to go with them, but my condition does not allow me to. In fact, I had planned to visit a blogger friend's kindy, and I still owe another blogger friend some tea break. Aiza and Izz, we shall meet one day. Next year, ok! ;) *Miss you girls. Mwahh!!

The new school term is starting soon. Very soon. The 4 weeks break went by so fast. Maybe because I didn't get to go anywhere like I used to, especially in December. This year, I just stay home, watch TV. Sleep. Eat. Then sleep again. When the mood struck, I'd take out the unfinished workloads (which are still, some of them, untouched now), and try to finish them bit by bit. The thing is, while I was away for the 3-month course, the work I left behind was piling up. At times, I had a sense of regrets for attending the course, especially when stress was at its peak. Too many things happened the past few months, especially after the course I attended.

But for now, everything is fine. Without him around, I did cry a tear missing him. He said, "I'll be home soon." He must've found me funny.

Only two days of him leaving, I have cried like a baby! This sunken feeling must go. If only that DQ ice-cream is here. Sighh....!!

The BUS ELEP 2013 video - Part 1

So, my journey in BUS ELEP 2013 has almost ended now. As far as I long for home, I also feel that I will miss my "family" in this programme. 

Here I share with you a video of the programme that one of us made. I shall cherish the moments and memories in the programme. May our friendship last forever. 

Thanks to Sam for the video! :)

The counting continues....

6 more days, and I shall be in the arms of my husband and family. 

Last Friday, we moved from Abraham Lincoln Hall at East West Center to Ambassador Hotel at Waikiki. The first night here, Amy and I went out to hunt for food for iftar: we were just too tired to cook after the whole day spent on packing, loading and unloading our luggage. After those multiple times of shopping, the impact has taken its toll! I think, we all have over exceeded our luggage weight! Whoops!!

So we had sushi at Doraku Restaurant for iftar. My treat, coz Amy had treated me some appetizers at this coffee shop just a few blocks away from the restaurant. I love its Caramel Mocha. I've had it twice and surely will have another one before leaving Hawaii.

My Saturday and Sunday were spent staying in the hotel room. I found the aura around Waikiki as just too.... strange for me. Having a 5-minute walk to the beach, you can see men and women in their shorts and bikinis. Something I choose not to see, especially now it's Ramadhan time. Call me conservative, but I just don't wanna lessen my pahala puasa. Enough said.

Besides, the wind is just too cold for me. It hits me to the bones. The last thing I want right now is my asthma to come back, which I usually get every time I masuk angin. 

6 more days, and I think I need to repack my bags. I sensed that one is heavier than the other.. We'll see!

The moments : missing him...

14 more days... and I will be home!

This is my first time away from DH and familuz. It is harder when pressure is at its peak, especially when I find it difficult to catch up with the course content in the programme. Back in Brunei, I had him to lean on and him to wipe away my tears. Here... :(

And I miss them nephews! :'(

The Ups and Downs : Life in Hawaii

So.. Here I am on the beautiful green island of Oahu for the past two weeks. 70 of us landed on Honolulu on 27th June 2013 after about 36 hours leaving the land of hidden treasure, Brunei Darussalam.

We were grateful by the warm welcome by the people of East West Center, the institution that has been giving us the shelter to stay and grab precious knowledge for a month stay here in Hawaii.

Life here is not very much different from the life back home. The people are friendly and it is very safe to go everywhere here. The only difference would be the difficulty in finding halal food in every store in the city. So basically, we, the Muslims, rely on vegetables and fruits to survive, although some of us did bring canned foods and instant noodles from home.

Despite being home sick and missing family at home, friends here have been very wonderful and I must say, we have become one big family now, especially in the month of Ramadhan when we fast as part of our responsibilities as Muslims. The pain of being away from family has lessen now we face Ramadhan together and break iftar as one big family. Alhamdulillah.

Other meaningful moments here in Hawaii are obviously the tours we were taken to by the East West Center. I can never forget the beauty of Hanaoma Bay, the serene sight of Nu'uani Pali Lookout, and the cold windy experience looking out for blow holes on the beautiful rocky beach. The visit at Bishop Museum had also taught me the life of Hawaiians in the past, as well as the history of their Royals. A close encounter with a Pearl Harbor Attack survivor, Jimmy Lee, in our visit to the Arizona Memorial was also a dear to my heart. Watching the actual video footage of the attack, and standing in front of the Memorial Wall did not fail to shed me tears of agony.

I will still be here in the next two weeks, and I am sure more memories are in the making. I may be missing home right now, but I am sure when I leave here, I shall be missing my one-month life here in Hawaii.

10.12.2001 - 10.12.2011

I've been away for too long now but today is an exception. Gotta blog about our 10th anniversary tonight.

Alhamdulillah. We're still strong now. Hope to see another 10 years of us together InsyaAllah.

No special treatment today as DH was out working till 7pm. I am under the weather too so not in the mood to celebrate really. I spent most of the day in bed, feeling queasy all day. It's worse today after a few days. Friends are already congratulating me on Fb, hoping that Suzila's junior is on the way. Even DH was asking the same question. Well, it's still early to answer that coz my period is in the next 10 days at least. InsyaAllah. May the best be for us both, aamiiin.

Happy anniversary to you sayang. I wanted to write longer but can't think straight right now. I guess the cold night wind outside the house has gotten into me now. I know, I know. I should've listened to you. What do you expect. It's full eclipse tonight. Everybody is busy talking about it and you know me too well to just ignore that right!

Anyway, he did say, "Ain't our anniversary special tonight?"

He may be the least romantic husband there ever is around but once he opens that mouth of his, he always melts my heart.

I love you sayang!!

The day Ramadhan cries

It's almost 7am now on 29th Ramadhan 1432H. It's been raining since before 6am today. I can't get back to sleep after sahur. In fact, I woke hubby up an hour earlier than our usual sahur time. I cooked some noodles for us at 1am coz he requested for indomie. I thought, why not cooking him noodles instead.

Well, he chose to have some McD's he bought in Miri yesterday for sahur. His tummy aches since 4 days ago and he has been very selective of food he takes - which ironically, some fast food and indomie are in his wish list. I told him to have him checked at the clinic but he refused to do so. He said he hated seeing doctors especially now. I say, it's his kiddy side talking. He chose to go to work instead and spend hours in the loo every day.

But the heavy rain is a big help today. It makes him stay in bed! He even asked me whether he should go to work or not. Of course I said he shouldn't. I used the heavy rain as an excuse, which he listened. If my charm had gone rusty, I'd use any tricks there are to keep him in bed with that condition!

So, he's sound asleep now, while here I am blogging as I can't get back to sleep since sahur. My eyes are heavy but the brain just refuses to sleep. So the brain wanders...

I think it rained this heavy last year on this very day. The year before too. And the year before that. People say, end of Ramadhan always rains showing that the spirits of the dead are crying as they have to leave families and friends behind. They cry because they have to wait another year to pay visits to the living. They cry because they want to stay longer, and never return to where they belong. They cry because of the sadness they can't bear inside. What say you?

I say, Ramadhan is sad leaving us. And I believe Ramadhan is sad when people play fireworks every night. It must feel like he is unwanted. I believe Ramadhan is sad when the radio is playing Raya songs as early as 7th day of fasting. Also sad when people are busy making kuehs and cakes for Raya instead of embracing him at all times.

I say, Ramadhan is sad witnessing certain people choose to stay home than spending time at the masjids. Or choose to sleep all day than waking up reciting those holy verses. Or stay awake during the nights performing Tarawikhs and Witr. I say, some of us forget to do our best in Ramadhan. These, among other things, make Ramadhan cry.

And I think Ramadhan is unhappy because I have not spent much time with him this year. I think I will forget him tomorrow but Ramadhan will come and see me again next year, if Allah wills it. I hope Allah wills it..

Ramadhan is crying still now. Now I am sad. My heart breaks letting him go, every time. And it's always too late to realise it...

The one with precious moments spent

After we dined out yesterday, we went to Qlap. Our main intention was to look for this cat, whose picture had been put up in facebook. The cat named Tina could be seen on a counter of an electronic shop somewhere in Qlap. So to see her, we went into every electronic shop there, but we didn't get a sight of her. Instead, we got interested in a few electronic items sold. They were so cheap that we were tempted to buy one or two. But then, having no home of our own, we thought, buying them could wait. Now we have some ideas on what to get for our home one day, and at what price.

Who wouldn't want to see her. Look at that face!! (picture taken from a colleague's Fb album)

Speaking of home, I haven't really submitted nor filled in the application form for a housing for us. But when he mentioned that we need one soon, I thought, maybe it's time to apply for one.

So I said, "What if we get pregnant and have a baby, say.. next year? Who will look after the house?"

He said, "That's not a problem. We will just stay there. Not go nowhere. Easy!"

I said, "How can that be easy? I would have my mom helping me with the baby."

Then he said, "Easy peasy. I will call Nanny Mc Phee."

Sighhh! If only us women could think that worry-less huh. Sometimes I wonder how men could be so stress free, when we women wonder about even very little things.

Anyway, so I will fill in that form when I'm back to work next week insyaAllah. We shall start saving up coz it'll take 6 months to a year to get a house nowadays. By the time we get it, I hope we manage to keep a few $Ks so we can buy some furniture for the house. I don't worry much about kitchen wares and utensils. We got lots of wedding gifts that could fill up the kitchen. China sets, cooking utensils, toasters, tupperware sets, chopping knives, you name it. Alhamdulillah for that :))

Then hubby led me into this shop selling baby stuff and toys. I got so excited looking for toys for my nephew that I bought him a set. Little that I knew that hubby was counting the price for stuff needed for a baby instead. I say, awww... My heart melted right then.

He said, "Look at these. These are all we gotta buy when we get pregnant. That's a lot.."

I saw concerns in his eyes. I know he is worried about our preparation if we ever get pregnant. He said once that he wanted the best for our kid, not even a lil bit of lacks material wise, as well as his education. I know how he feels. I worry the same. We are no rich couple who has thousands of dollars in our pockets. But seeing him started counting his budget last night, that made me feel that he's going to be the best dad in the world :'))

My nephew: Muhammad Aqeel Fa'eeq, at 10 months, posing with his Baby Boo counting book :)Something I bought for Baby Fa'eeq. He loves music and gadgets. So I thought, he'd love these toys :))

The yummy sungkai

Hubby texted me through Facebook inbox yesterday saying he had booked us seats for sungkai out at Capers. It would be out first sungkai out this year as husband and wife. Last time with the in-laws didn't count. We weren't alone. Heheh ;p

We always love eating out at Capers. We love the food. We love the place. The smell... Pheww~ ;) But most importantly, we love the all-you-can-eat idea! For only $14.80 per head, and ordering as many food as we wish, who wouldn't love to go there! I mean, sungkai buffet prices have gone bonkers the past years. It's like $9.00 per head the cheapest now? Yet the dishes were just simple, a so-so taste. And the queueing takes forever to the buffet dishes. Too crowded too. So Capers it was.

We ordered 5 dishes. Apart from that, hubby took a few slices of pepperoni pizza from the buffet booth, which served 4 different kinds of pasta. At another booth, there were cakes and snacks. Just awesome! We were just too happy yesterday lol~ And I finally had my pasta carbonara yesterday, after weeks for craving. Alhamdulillah :))

Us :))

Today, I was hubby-less during iftar. He was in Miri with his friend. He said he would have McDonald's for sungkai. Since hubby was not around, so I cooked "mee basah seafood". He doesn't eat seafood. He's allergic. Kesian.

My first attempt was a success, yeay! My family loved it and my sister even thought it was mom who cooked it. I mean, that WAS a compliment! My mom is the best cook in the world what! ;p

The fried noodles

The seafood soup

Mee basah seafood. Yummy!! ;))

The passing days

The day after tomorrow shall be the sighting of Syawal. Ramadhan so far has gone by quickly. I personally haven't done much to grasp the holy weeks that I passed by. Regrets are all I ever feel and forever will as I had let those precious moments passed me by without appreciating and humbling my self to Him. I, of all servants, will not forgive my self!

Alhamdulillah. Ramadhan has been kind to all I must say. Yesterday, an ex student converted to Islam. He invited me through Facebook to his ceremony in the Religious Affairs Centre but I could not make it as hubby is using my car to work. His is at the workshop at the moment. The day before, my family held a tahlil and break the fast event at our home in Lambak. Alhamdulillah, all went smoothly. I started cooking simple kuehs as early as 10am and by 5pm, I was ready in my black jubah. It's nice seeing familiar faces gathering at our place.

Vege springrolls

Begedil

Alhamdulillah too hubby is at his best fasting. Only a day break this year compared to the previous one. His job under the hot sun has always been demanding and so, this sometimes requires him to break his fast. I always tell him off saying, "Fast today or have it any way on other normal day. It's your choice but I will make you pay every day that you break!" Alhamdulillah, he listens. I have to be mean to make him better. I am certain that there's a reason why God makes me his wife. And I shall try be a good one for him.

Every sahur is a pain this year. A small fight is inevitable on each day. Hubby is a heavy sleeper. Again, his demanding job is to blame; it drains his energy out six days a week. Hence, waking him up for sahur is the hardest trial for me as a wife. Many times I failed making him stand on his feet, nor did I make them eyes open to wake. At the same time, I refuse to bring that plate of sahur meal for him in bed. I refuse to make it a habit. I must train him, and my self. He must wake up, or no sahur for him at all.

But at times, I failed too to make my self listen. The dutiful side of me as a wife sometimes forges me to feed him in bed. I worry about his lack of energy at work the next day. Yet today, another test tickled me.

"When did you put this plate in my hands?", he asked.

I shook my head and replied, "You scolded me a moment ago for being too pushy and now you ask me that?!"

He chuckled and said, "I did? What I said?"

I shut him up by asking him to finish up his food. It was 10 minutes left to dawn.

I tell my self it's only my first year. But I also tell my self that in many years to come, I shall make better months of Ramadhan for us both. An almost a cup full of him fasting is one accomplishment I should be proud of this year.

Next year, I shall be meaner, and better. For him. And for us. Aamiiin...

The break

Today marked the second day I spent my whole day either sleeping, or you-tubeing. Facebook is unattractive too lately. All I want to do is, rest. And enjoying every bit of the break like there is no more breaks tomorrow.

2011 workwise has been tiring. I get exhausted easily. Get angry and emotional quickly too. Pressure is at its peak like all the time. Maybe that's why I have gone sick for three times this year. Give it a month or two, then I will fill in that sick leave form again. It's just not healthy. I am not happy at work this year. I am just emotionally tired.

I guess I have to, need to keep my self out of the discipline affairs. I hope I can do that next year. I wanted to do so this year but as I was hoping too much for the Masters study leave, so I told my self, why not get on with it another year. Now that study leave seems rejected, I guess next year is definite that the discipline room should be without me. I must!

I am not happy that my preparing materials time is taken away. My free time is filled with work other than marking. In the end, I end up having empty spaces in my students' marks list, which eventually reflects on me as one "not doing work on time". And I hate that it's true! Maybe I have not done my best completing everything on time. But trust me, time is just what I need.

I don't bring work home. That's been forbidden for almost four years now. Why? Because I personally feel that I deserve all the rest I need after the long hours at work. So do now. Two weeks break, it just does not feel right to be at work and finishing up those incomplete pending workloads. I mean, when else can I rest??

I fell sick just before the break started last week. Yes, again. Good that I feel much better now. See. The off-work moment does help. I feel healthy now!

A few weeks back, I was sent to have my self checked at the clinic. That ended me up sent to the ER for having high blood pressure. I was held up for almost three hours. Eventually, it gone better. It must be the anxious feeling I had before the check up. The next few days, I had the results review of my kidney, blood, sugar, cholesterol, heart, bla bla bla. Alhamdulillah that everything was normal, except my 6.3 cholesterol level. And my blood pressure, it's still borderline but not for the doctor to worry. They set me up for another appointments next January; both with the doctor and dietition. I need to lose weight. Fast!

I've been watching my food intake since then. I've lost 2kg so far. But I'm sure that will be temporary as Eid is coming soon. I have my thoughts on them cakes and meals at open houses! Geez! Losing weight is hard!

Now that I am ok with most everything, I guess losing weight is a must-do soon. As Masters study application is not (seems not) gonna happen next year, I guess my body is ready to conceive. Give it another few months, InsyaAllah, I shall have my own baby bump. Ready or not, I was on alert when the Doctor said that conceiving is possible now. I guess, that's a good sign since I had always been worried about my health and getting pregnant.

InsyaAllah. There shall be good news next year.

My babies' day

It's hubby's birthday. I didn't get him any cakes or any special treats. He never likes to make it big anyway. He always says that with me around, it is enough gift he could ask for. Ok, that still makes my heart melt :')

And we decided it's Fluffy's birthday too today last year, since we were only told that she was born in June but no particular dates were given. Hubby said, it should fall on his birthday so, Fluffy is two years old today :)

Hubby and Fluffy on their birthday :)
Fluffy enjoying her birthday meal :D

I did buy him a gift way before today. We went to watch a movie at Qlap Cineplex last 31st March. Then there is this corner on the second floor that sells cards. Not just any cards but those that with tricks. Anyway, hubby loves this kind of stuff so when he went to the loo, I bought him two sets of the cards, cost me almost $40. That made him happy. Sometimes, he has that little guy in him. I wonder when he is gonna grow up fully lol~

So his skills have gone better, after days and multiple of practice. Friends and families were left with awe when he managed to pull a trick or two. I always find it funny. His mom always says to me, "Abang is still the same. Never change. Still the little boy of the family."

Hubby and his magic cards. Look at that happy face!

Hubby pulling card tricks to on his sister and dad. Funny moments there lol~

I must say, he is. And I love this man so. May you live happily always sayang :)

The one of those moments

It's almost 2 a.m. now and I can't sleep yet. Yesterday is still bugging me and it seems the silent treatment isn't working unlike it used to. He did realise the cold treatment I'm sure but the words I am expecting to hear ain't coming out anytime soon now. I know and I've heard it before. Men can be clueless of women's sensitivity. They say things, do things they wish to. And we women, on top of other things, feel upset, sad over those what they call "silly things". For me, women, don't deserve such treatment. Men should be more sensitive. And us women, should be tougher in hearts. So we won't cry over those "silly things" listed in their diaries.

Oh well. Maybe I should just let it be. Afterall, I'm the wife. The one who's written to listen, to serve, to obey. Yet the ego side of me, an old friend of mine who decides to stay, is telling me other wise. Hence, I had forbidden my self from shedding those tears but that didn't last long. His ego is way bigger, higher than mine I suppose. Or he's just playing plain ignorant. I dunno. No words of his have soothen this hurtful feeling I'm having. Or worse, hasn't he realised what he's done??

Ok that's the 'old friend' talking there. I am sure it won't turn bad tomorrow. Or the day after. And the next. I know the 'kiss and make up' moment will happen. I am just sulkingly sad and upset. And it just makes me feel more upset when he just doesn't seem to care.

I should snap out of this coz I sound childish. I hate that feeling. But at the same time, I want to be treated right. I should be. Can't he just do that? And be more sensitive??

I miss him. This no-talking phase must stop!

The day out

Just got home from a four-hour tattoo show, and another two-hour plus of X-Men movie. But I am not happy anymore. I feel that I should just stay home today. And slept the whole day through.

I feel like crying but I don't think it's necessary. I just feel so sensitive over small matters lately. I just do.

I wanna let it all flow here but the inner side of me says, don't. Which I think I should listen to this time coz I know when I feel better tomorrow, now would feel like nonsense.

Damn it! Get a grip Suzi!

The one that says it all

I found this song posted by a friend on her Fb wall. I fell in love with it right away. Ease your ears readers. It's a lovely song with very very meaningful lyrics. Simple but sweet.

Garrett Hedlund – Timing Is Everything Lyrics

when the stars line up
and you catch a good break
and people think you're lucky
but you know it’s grace
it can happen so fast
or a little bit late
timing is everything

you know I’ve had close calls
when it could have been me
I was young when I learned just
how fragile life could be
I lost friends of mine
I guess it wasn’t my time
time is everything

and I could have been a child that got took home
and I would have been one more unfinished song
and when it seems a rhyme is hard to find
that’s when one comes along
just in time

when I remember that day
when our eyes first met
you ran into the building to get out of the rain
cuz’ you were soaking wet
and as I held the door
you wanted to know my name
timing is everything

and I could have been another minute late
and you never would have crossed my path that day
and when it seems true love is hard to find
that’s when love comes along
just in time

well you can call it fate
or destiny
sometimes it really
seems like
it’s a mystery
cause you can be hurt by love
or healed by the same
timing is everything
and it can happen so fast
or a little bit late
timing is everything

Garrett Hedlund – Timing Is Everything Lyrics

The "what if we get pregnant" talk

I didn't have much to do the past two days of my sick leave. Was I enjoying my self? Not so much. Did I do much work? I did none actually. All I did was stay in bed. The tablets are just making me feel sicker, though the flu is receding. Blocked nose though. I had too much sleep that at the end of the day, I feel dizzy the whole day.

Hubby is still working overtime. The first night I was sick, he came home early, like 8pm. Then the next day, he was at the door at 3pm. He didn't say it out loud but I think he's worried about me sick. Him and his no-can't-show-her-how-I-feel mood. Blah! I know you love me sayang!

Before he was home, the sisters-in-law were hinting on again. It's becoming more frequent lately that I find it cute hehe. Amal was even requesting for twins! And Nadia, she was even willing to give us her room so hubby and I could get enough space for a baby cradle. When she told that to mom and dad, they were just too exited to renovate the room for us. I mean, I am not even pregnant yet lol! Ok, I get the hint alright ;)

And so, on the way home from a movie last night, I brought up the topic. Hubby was laughing when I told him the afternoon hinting story lol! Then he moved on saying how his colleagues thought that I was expecting too now that I am on sick leave. Apparently, he was mentioning me to his friends at work, and with that, he left work early because I was sick. He was teased then that we were pregnant! Oh boy. LoL!

I got teased at work too you know. A veteran colleague actually advised me to get preggy soon as I am not getting younger by day. Then despite my excuses, she made herself an example. At almost 55, her youngest son is now still in Year 8. Her fear now was being unable to spend her salary on him now that she is retiring soon. She also regretted how her youth was wasted on waiting for "the right moment" then, now that she was not young anymore to see her youngest child grow up as a man.

When I told this to hubby, he then told me what he thinks of the whole getting-pregnant-now thing. With the teasing from his friends, he actually said to them how having a baby is not as easy as one would think. Yes, having babies is His rezqi. But, we have to think wisely: we have to be prepared; mentally and most important of all, financially. Planning is the best thing to do now that we are not ready 100%.

One, hubby is still working outstation, which requires him to be away from home at least 12 hours a day, 6 days a week. I am, too, busy with work, which requires me to be on duties till late afternoon, almost every day.

Two, again, the hoping for masters degree scholarship excuse. If I get it, and be pregnant or have a baby at the same time, my studying periods will be ... I just can't imagine!

Three, financially, we're good. But not GOOD good, if you know what I mean. We calculated, even B$500 per month is not enough to raise a child nowadays. In the next few years, he/she will go to school and that will cost more - and we plan to send him/her to prestigious school in the first few years of his/her kindergarten years.

Four, it's mostly fear. I think hubby feels it too. Will we be good parents? Will we be able to teach him/her right? Will we be able to protect him/her from anything that causes him/her pain? Will we be good role models to him/her?

There are just too much responsibilities to bear. I know he wants it too, as much as I do. But to be mummy and daddy now, I think we are both not ready yet.

Okay, this is making me sad. I better stop now.

The bad cough and sore throat, again!

Good day all. It seems that this condition I am in is visiting me every month lately. I am in bed, all parts of my body are aching, I can barely breathe coz of this blocked nose and I can't seem to swallow any food due to this bad cough and sore throat. DH forbids me from going to work today and later, his mom will take me to the clinic.

When I fell sick 4 days ago, DH and I actually suspected a pregnancy as I couldn't take in any food (everything came out if I did) and I also had fever and headache. But now, I am having my period, despite the non-existence of painful waist-down PMS signs. I actually haven't had them the past two months now, NOT that I want them back or anything. It's just that, with their absence, I tend to get confused with the dates and such. And so, no, we're not pregnant. Yet.

I have gained weight (old story) but as much as I want to lose some kgs, it seems that I consume more than I "plan" to. I don't have the time to go hiking now coz my energy is used up at work. The only energy left daily is lifting up those fork and spoon during dinner. Okay, that's an overstatement but you know what I mean. Plus, the weather is just too wet to go anywhere now. So the only option I have now is having those foot patches attached to both my feet every now and then at night. Sometimes I lost a kg or two. Then again, I gained another after heavy breakfast or lunch.

It seems that my masters application is going history now that I heard there are a couple of applicants have been called for interviews, but me. So DH and I thought, having our junior is a tempting option now. Something that we shall get ready with. Thus I need to tone down. Mom said so if I were planning to get pregnant. Being fat and pregnant at the same time is not healthy to the baby and the mother, she said.

I will wait til September. If UBD is not happening, then DH and I will do some serious planning. This time, to conceive!

The what....??

Hey peeps! How are you lot? Just dropping by here to revive the page. Well, for now though. God knows when will I be able to have the time to do this again. I just feel like talking (well, writing) today.

Work today was okay, compared to the past weeks. The very first morning was very intriguing though. I came into the office and the first thing I saw was a little boy sitting on a chair. He saluted me and I smiled. So I asked one of the colleagues who the kid was. Aziz turned around, and looked back at me. Blankly, saying, "What kid?" And I was like ... Okaaay~~ and made my move to my desk.

Now, why didn't I bother, coz the place I work in has its own mysteries. Haunted ones. There have been "stories" that we had faced multiple times; hysteria, eerie sounds, moving things, bla bla bla. So today, experiencing "another" one was NOT an option.

I looked at the boy. He looked back. No expression. I looked at the others in the office, everybody seemed to be busy with their stuff at their tables. Then Hasanul (yes Aiza, Ejah. YOUR Hasanul) asked me about the 100-hours list. So I walked to him, bringing my file. So the whispering started:

Me: Sanul, you see that kid right?
Sanul: What kid?
Me: THAT kid. At the blue chair..
Sanul: *turned around*
Me: You see him?
Sanul: *clueless, blank expression*
Me: Sanul! NOT FUNNY okay!!
Sanul: What are you talking about? What kid? Are you kidding??
Me: No I'm not!
Sanul: *turned around again* There's nobody there Suzi.. *turned around again* Are you sure...?
Me: Wallahi! He's wearing Baju Melayu!
Sanul: Don't do this ehhh! I got goosebumps now...
Me: Errgh! Sanul... Not funnyyy!!! *left his table*

Then Hasanul followed me back to my desk. He stood in front of me and whispered, "Where is he? Is he behind me??" *His back was facing the kid*. I nodded slowly.

Right then, Hasanul walked to Aziz and whispered something. Aziz looked blanked. The same face expression Hasanul had a few minutes later. There, I told my self, "This can't be happening!!"

I packed my stuff, and headed to the door. "I'm going to class!!" I called out. Before I left, I turned around and faced Hasanul. "NOT funny Sanul if you DO see him!" and I made my move to my class.

In class, I sent a student to get something from my table. When he got back, he brought with him Aziz's message: "The thing you saw was not real." He said he had no idea what it meant. So I interrogated him. Asking him whether the office was empty. He said, other teachers were there.

Then I asked him what he saw at the chair. "I didn't pay attention, teacher."

Then I asked him, "Did you see a kid sitting there?"

"A kid? Yea. I saw a kid."

LOL!! People, I just got punk'd!! LOL!!

When I got back to the office, I laughed harder finding out that they got Faizul, Zir, Aziz, and Hasanul too!

Faizul panicked and urged all to leave the office - the rest laughed when he suggested that and the game was over lol.

Aziz read the Ayat Kursi - everyone joined in and raised their palms up for prayers - he stopped mid way when the kid raised his palms up too. Aziz actually thought the kid was a Muslim ghost! LOL!

When Zir came, she left immediately after "sensing" the ghost kid lol!

Then Hasanul acted as a hero, approaching the boy asking him to leave: "Pulang lah ke asal mu!" (Go back to where you belong!) Hahahahah!!

The funny story spread so quickly that we got the whole staffroom laughing.

Oh man! What a day! Ahahaha!!!