The uncertainty II

In that dark corner of the room, she cried her heart out. Her heart beats seemed rhythmically slow as she let those tears flow down her cheeks. She held the key tight in her right palm and uncertain of what to do next. To confess, or to let it pass.

For a minute, she let the images of that afternoon's scene playing in her head. That unexpected gentle kiss and that warming need of her affection. She let herself drown in his arms; the man she was not supposed to be with. Tears of guilt rained through her heart. Now in that room, she waited and waited. To confess, or to let it pass? She had not decided that.

The sound of the door open skipped her heart a beat. At that very corner, she stood still in the dark, unwanting to make a sound. She frowned. She sensed another presence.

He was not alone.

Giggles followed the two figures wrapping each other entering the room. She stood silently, squinting her eyes, trying to see the moving images in the gleam.

Sarah??

She was in his arms, him holding her tight in his chest. Those giggles continued, unconscious of another breathing presence in the room. The figures headed to the room on the left and silence crept in when a gentle thud of the door was heard.

It all happened in a split second. She froze. Then she urged her shaking steps towards the door. She stood for a second, there, where the two had just gone into, uncertain of what to do next.

She was lost. She felt empty.

Gone now the guilt that she once felt and with a swift gesture, she shed her tears away. She held the key tight for one last time and put it down on the dining table.

With a free heart, she unlocked the exit door and left the house of the man she once loved.

The uncertainty

It was a fine day. There she was with her closest buddy in his ride heading to a destination she found unusual. She kept asking, but he seemed to ignore her, staring blank on the road, expressionless. She remained silent for as long as it could take.

The car stopped at a place unfamiliar. All she could see was the gloomy clouds and the thin light coming from the horizon. Were they at bay? She wasn't sure. A tingling feeling was felt as he held her arm and took her closer. She turned around and there was the man she kept close at heart. A mate so dear to her yet too uncertain to grasp. Their eyes met and he answered her questioning glare.

"Stay. You know it's not him but me. You belong to me. We're meant to be together. You can't just go like that. You know he won't let us close again like we are now. What will happen to us? I can't just let you go like that!"

She blinked a few times, unsure of what she had just heard. Whispers came in, consenting to what he just said. She looked down. Shame that she quietly agreed to his worries.

"Leave him! Then we will always be together. I will care for you, always. I promise, I will appreciate you more than you can ever imagine. I can't let you go. Stay!"

Another blink, alas he drew closer and landed a kiss on her lips. Puzzled, she pulled herself apart and nudged away but the force was too strong to kick away that feeling that remained.

And so, she stayed.

Untold Story III

The Chemistry lesson felt like forever. My head focused more on lunch rather than whatever she was babbling about at the front. I wouldn't feel this way if that rude annoying stranger did not eat up my brunch during recess. Chemistry had always been my favourite subject. My tummy kept churning inside begging for food. Even my teacher's name reminded me so much of the delicious KFC's Zinger Burger - Mrs. Xander!

15 minutes before the class was over, the lesson halted with sudden knocks on the door. All eyes were set on the figure standing at where the sound had come from, so as mine. I frowned seeing him again, the sight that I had prayed I wouldn't see the rest of my time at school that day.

He walked with a piece of paper in his hand towards Mrs. Xander's desk. She nodded seeing it and nudged him to sit. It was obvious that she was not happy with her lesson disturbed. As he scanned through the classroom, I picked up my textbook and drowned my face in between the book's pages. I didn't want to have anything to do with him now that I learnt that he was going to me my classmate for the rest of the year.

"You're at my seat!" a voice called.
"Huh?" Alex replied as he looked up at the tall guy and pushed his thick classes up his nose.
"You heard what I said. Move!" the arrogant new kid continued.

Alex packed his books and moved to the back of the classroom, the only empty seat that was available. By now, I had lowered my textbook as my eyes followed to where he had gone to. The seat next to me was now filled by the bully.

I looked at him in anger, wondering what his problem was. At the same time, my heart sank thinking of what Alex must be feeling at that very moment. Though he was obviously the school nerd, he was my childhood friend whom was very dear to me. I lived 3 blocks away from him and we had always had study group at his place especially when exams were around the corner.

"Jamila Christina Ford! Is everything fine?" Mrs. Xander's voice was heard. I turned to look at her, noticing a soft chuckle from my right.
"Not at all ma'am!" I replied, picking up my book again. From the corner of my eye I could see him chuckling quietly. His shoulders stopped shaking soon after I turned to look at him again. I kept staring at him now that Mrs. Xander had continued her lesson.
"What IS his problem?" I couldn't stop wondering still.

When the bell rang, I put my books into my bag to make my move as far away from him as possible, soon. As I was doing so, I heard a sharp whisper in my right ear.
"Jamila! Nice name!"

I turned around just to see his back facing me. He left the room with the others, again with his shoulders moving. There, the bully was having a good time making fun of me. By this time, I could feel my blood burning inside. Ironically, I didn't make a move. I sank in my chair, feeling lost.

That day was bad. Somehow I could feel it was not the ending. Not yet.

Untold Story I
Untold Story II

Untold Story II

The sound of the bell gave a relief, at least to me. I could never make sense of numbers and today's lesson on Algebra was just making my head spinning around in circles. No ends met.

I managed slotting into the crowds of hungry teens in the cafeteria. The new caterer was unlike the previous ones. Never in my 4 years in high school I saw the kids go wild with their trays to the counter, which included me. All must agree, their Spaghetti Bolognaise was the best. Even my mum couldn't beat them.

I always had a table all by myself. Some called me a loner but I wasn't. I had my bunch of friends but they knew when it came to meals, I preferred to be alone. My so-called table was at the far end of the cafeteria, near the fountain, also one of the six exit doors available there. I'd say, it was just the perfect spot.

Today, as I walked with my tray in both hands to the table, I saw a figure. I didn't see his face but the colour of the shirt had me gasping.

There, a few meters away from where I stood was him.

I kept walking and as I stopped, he looked up from the paper he was writing something on. I was sure my look at him was unfriendly, but a smile crept on his flawless face as soon as those same brown eyes set on me.

"You're at my table," I sternly warned him. I could be very rude when it came to my table.
"Your table?" he answered. His tone sounded cheeky that ended with a soft chuckle. I raised an eyebrow, a reflect action whenever I was annoyed. I just stood frozen, waiting for him to leave as there had always been only one chair at my table.

He didn't make a move. Not an inch. I was sure my face had turned red by now, even redder when I saw him still having that smile on his face. Ignoring me, his stare moved to the tray in my hands. In a split second, it was in front of him.

There, at my table, he, whoever he was, was cleaning my tray of Spaghetti in no time. I clenched my teeth controlling my anger.

"Burrrrpp!!" and with that, he took my napkin and wiped his mouth clean. My hill-like Spaghetti then was no longer in sight.
"This is what I'm talking about! THIS is food!!" he continued, pointing at the empty tray. My empty tray. "Thank you," he said again. His lips crooked a smile once more, sending satisfaction in his tone this time.

Infuriated, I stormed out of the cafeteria. I felt nothing but anger. And the gurgling sound of my tummy.

Untold Story I

Untold Story I

That day was the day when all went wrong.

I woke up late to school only to find my alarm clock was out of battery. Mom and dad were sound asleep in the master bedroom, though I could hear my little sister, Bethany, crying in her little room just outside mine. Still holding the unmoving hands of the alarm clock, I switched on my cell phone to check on the time. To my surprise, it was 5 minutes to 8am! I was late!! So were my parents!

I jumped off my bed, stumbled on Bethany’s toys on the corridor and stormed into my parents’ room. Soon after, all of us fought our ways into the bathrooms, after mom opening the door to our babysitter. She was an Italian, about mom’s age but with a bigger belly than my dad’s. She was soft spoken, and quiet. Maybe she was not confident enough to speak our language. As I was brushing my teeth, Bethany had stopped crying.

At school, the gate was closed. I slammed the car door shut and ran to the guard’s hut.

“Late again?” he said.
“Would you let me in?” I begged, while at the same time, I signaled my dad to drive off, sending him gestures, “I could handle it dad, so go!” He nodded and left the street.
“Not till you fill this in. You know that’s a must,” the bald, 40ish year old guard said again, shoving me the yellow form. It was to be filed into the late comers’ folder.

I entered the small hut and took out my pen. Writing down my details, I saw an inch pile of the same coloured form, arranged nicely on the table. That was the third time this month so it was all familiar to me.

As I was putting the form on the top pile, I heard voices outside. I took a peek and saw the guard talking to a boy, whom I had never seen before. I waited, till the two sensed my presence and turned to look at me.

“You done young lady?” he said.
“Yes. Could I go in now?” I replied. I noticed that the boy was checking on me. “How rude!” I said to myself.
“Wait a sec!” the guard took out a handful of metal keys from his back pocket and walked towards the gate. I followed him closely, the boy was next to me by this time.
“Is he smelling me??” I couldn’t help wondering as I could hear him breathe next to my ear! I turned around only to be face to face with those big brown eyes. For a second, my heart skipped a beat. “Beautiful eyes!” my heart echoed again.

“Hi!” he said, with a smile.
“Hello ..” I stammered. I couldn’t remember whether I was smiling or not.

For a moment, he just stood there looking at me. A tall guy yet he lowered his head to see me closely. I didn’t blink at all.

The sound of the gate creaking open had us looked away from each other. The guard let me in and held the boy behind. I walked on and looked back, only to see him smiling again and wave.

His brown eyes sent that message: “I will see you again. Soon!”

No Turning Back

Anna swallowed hard. Her tears welled up her eyes. It was not the first time. It had been months and the sight of their faces still crossed her head, especially when she hit her bed to sleep. There were times without counts that she cried herself to sleep.

Everything seemed like yesterday ...

"No mum! I'm not going!!"
"I said get ready now. I told you so you're coming with us!"
"Dad!!"
"You will be alone now Anna. Come with us. It won't take long .."
"Dad, I got too much work to do. Exam's coming too!!"
"Anna, that can wait. Let's go. Dad said it won't take long. It's just a wedding. Won't take forever."
"I don't wanna!!!"

With that, Anna slammed the door on everyone's face. Her mum sighed her disappointment while dad took the car keys and went to the garage. Sheila, on the other hand, grabbed hold of their little brother, Daniel, and went off to the car. In a few moments, the house was silent.

Anna came out of her room and felt relieved. Holding on to the remote control, her eyes were glued on the various channels her fingers clicked on. Time passed by, the phone rang. It was Tania, her best friend. For the next hour, she spent the time up-dating gossips they knew of in school.

As night fell, Anna finally went to her room and took out her Algebra homework. Trying to solve the problem, Anna thought of Sheila, her elder sister, who was now studying in college. She was the computer geek of the family. Anna herself was good in History and Geography, the two subjects that Sheila was really weak at. They usually did their homework together, having Sheila giving more than taking in throughout. Daniel, being a 3 year old toddler, was always disturbing the two at the table. Both usually gave in and entertained him till he was bored to play.

Anna woke up from sleep as the phone rang continuously. Figuring out the time on the wall, it showed almost 9pm and the house was still full of silence, except for the sounds of the crickets and toads. Her eyes were too heavy to open yet the phone continued ringing. She crawled towards the phone and as she reached it, it stopped. Her curses were heard in the night.

Back at the table, she held on her pen and calculator, trying to solve the Maths problems again. As she was calculating the numbers, the phone rang again. She dropped everything and went to answer the phone.

"Maybe it's dad!" she whispered ...

A few words from the end of the line, Anna screamed hysterically. Soon after, panicking, she left the house and knocked on the neighbour's door. With tears rolling down her face, she begged for their help.

"Calm down, Anna. We will take you to the hospital. Be calm ..." Mrs. Kaur tried to soothe her.

As they reached the Emergency Room, Anna froze seeing dozens of people there. Mr. Kaur, being the head among them, walked towards a group of nurses and doctors ahead. Anna was seated, still crying, with Mrs. Kaur nearby.

As a doctor walked towards her, and with the look on Mr. Kaur's face, Anna shook her head in disbelief. She knew it was not good news coming to her.

As the news was delivered, Anna screamed in shock. Sadness overcame her as she saw images of that morning's fight. She saw nothing soon after, as she fell to the floor, fainted.

When she woke up, she was in her bed. Prayers were heard downstairs and she could hear whispers of how the accident had happened. Her father's Pajero was hit by a truck going on the wrong direction and the lives of her family were lost at an instant.

She cried and cried as the thoughts of her family emerged on her head. The cheeky smile on Daniel's face would be missed dearly and there'd be no one who could help her with her Algebra problems from now on. Losing her parents would be too difficult to endure.

Now, she had no one. For months being alone, she survived under relatives' symphaty, whose love could never replace those of her lost family.

If she could turn back the time, not only she's refuse to go to the wedding. She'd make them stay!

There was no turning back. And all she could do was cry herself to bed again that night ....


Written by : Suzila A
Inspired by: Music Lesson in 2006

Message in a Bottle

CHAPTER 1: Diana's Voice

It'd been 3 years we'd gone out but Max had never brought up the 'M' topic and if ever I did, he'd gone pale and uneasy ... all the time. I love him and to be Mrs. Maxwell Clair had always been my dream ever since I set my eyes on him playing his drum on the stage with his band, "Maxi Boyz".

I remember that one day, as we strolled along the beach viewing the sunset, he let go of my hand when I asked him where our relationship was going. With that instant gesture, I was sure that my dream would never come true.

At some point, I'd to keep asking myself why was I so crazy about him? What made him so ignorant when it came to marriage? Was he scared? He did say he loved me. Why couldn't we just take it to another level? Why??

I overheard him telling a friend one night that he was proud for whom he had become, the idol for the teens. For him, music was his world. His life. His everything. Their conversation halted when my presence was felt ...

I left the scene ... hurt ...

CHAPTER 2: Max's Voice

She was the most beautiful girl I've ever met. The only word to describe her is ... calm. That's made me so attached to her, unlike the other girls that had been in my life before. Diana ... the only name that's been carved in my heart for many many years ... and many more years to come ...

One thing. Just one thing that had always shattered our hearts. Marriage.

I don't know ... Not that I didn't want to. I was just not ready ... The life I had now was the life I had always dreamed of since I was younger. I wanted to be a legend! And a marriage would only make my dream remain ...

I know I'd hurt her a lot. I know I'd made the risk of losing the only girl I'd ever loved. And that night, when she heard what I say to Jimmy, I knew she'd not turn back to even say 'goodbye' ...

The calmness in her had gone as she walked away ...

So as the feeling in me.

'Calm' was not the word that could describe how I felt seeing her leave ... yet my feet froze to make a single step to stop her ...

I had hurt her I know ... Deeply hurt her ...

CHAPTER 3: The Day It Changed

Max woke up early that day. His schedule was finally free, unexpectedly, and the only name that popped in his head was 'Diana'. He reached his phone and dialed her number. It'd been 2 months he hadn't contacted her since that night he heard her cry over the phone. The night when she left him with Jimmy outside his recording studio.

It took him a while to call her. Various questions came to mind: "Would she answer the phone? It's only 7am" ... "Would she hang up if she heard my voice?" ... "What am I gonna say?"

He dialed the number anyway ...

She didn't pick up. Her answering machine did. Max left a message:

"Hi ... It's me. Hmm ... Good morning! *chuckled nervously* Well, hmmm ... just calling to say 'Hi'. Oh by the way, our road tour is a success! We just had the last one last night. It was awesome! I wish you were there ... *silence* ... I am going to the beach after this. If you have the time you could ..."

The machine went off. His message was just too long for it to record. Max sighed heavily, hung up the phone and lay flat on his back, looking at his ceiling. It was empty. He felt empty.

Gazing out the window, seeing the sunny day, he walked lazily to freshen up. 30 minutes later, he was cycling towards the beach.

"I wish she's here ...," he whispered.

CHAPTER 4: The Message

Bare footed, Max strolled along the beach alone that morning. Reminiscing the memories with Diana, he hummed a tune. He took out a small notebook that he always kept near, and a pen. He looked closely to it: "You're Music To My Heart".

"Diana ...," he whispered and the image of him unwrapping a thin box from her came cross his head. The pen was in it. He held it close to his chest and closed his eyes.

Sitting on the rocks, he started writing verses that conveyed his emotion at that very moment. Diana was on his mind all the time ...

Suddenly ... "Cling! Cling!"

Max got distracted and put the pen and notebook back into his pocket. He tried searching for the sound.

"Cling! Cling!"

He climed down the rocks and looked around. All he saw were the waves hitting the rocks that he stood on. Yet the sound kept coming. He went further down and a sparkle grabbed his attention. He moved forward and reached out.

A bottle!

Max had a closer look into it.

There was a piece of paper in the bottle!

Max took out the paper. In it, there was a message:

"Dear founder,
You have opened a sacred scroll.
Read on and never stop!
You are the chosen one. Believe this!
This message is meant for you. This is true!
The scroll has found its owner and it's the answer to what the heart suffers.
The answer is in you when you believe.
Who ever is in you, is the one who will save you from doom.
A week is what you got and that's all you need to mend.
One week! Just one week!"

Max fell silent.

Reaching out his phone, he dialed Diana's number.

This time, she picked up ...

FINAL CHAPTER: What if ....

Diana walked slowly down the aisle. The "Maxi Boyz" looked handsome in their suits but the sole man her eyes stuck on was the most handsome among them. Waiting on the altar, Max put on his best coat while Diana looked like an angel in her white sandy long gown. Lillies in her hands made her look prettier than ever.

As the priest announced the crowd the blessing, they kissed as husband and wife. Diana's dream had now come true.

The next hour, the newlywed flew off to Paris for their honey moon. Both of them never let go of each other.

The next morning, Diana stood by the hotel room's window. Gazing at her husband sleeping comfortably in their bed. She smiled with tears in her eyes.

The tears of happiness.

She looked out the window, sipping the cup of coffee in her hand. Something was playing in her mind. Something she'd die to keep from her husband.

"Good morning Mrs. Clair ..."
"Morning honey! Did you have a good sleep?"
"Yea sure did!"

Diana handed Max his cup of coffee. For a moment, they looked into each others' eyes and smiled.

Somehow, Diana was lost. What had been playing in her head was now bothering the moment she was having with her beloved husband ... Kicking it off, she gazed out of the window again.

"What are you thinking about?" Max asked.
"Owh ... Nothing ... Nothing at all ...," she replied. She put a smile on her face that invited a gentle kiss on her lips.

Max left to the bathroom while Diana watched him.

Sighing, Diana said quietly ... "I wonder what would happen now if I hadn't put that message in the bottle ..."

With that, she took a final sip of her coffee and stepped towards the bathroom, smiling happily.

"What a beautiful day to waste!"




Written by: Suzila A
Inspired by: Course work in 2004