The one that says it all

I found this song posted by a friend on her Fb wall. I fell in love with it right away. Ease your ears readers. It's a lovely song with very very meaningful lyrics. Simple but sweet.

Garrett Hedlund – Timing Is Everything Lyrics

when the stars line up
and you catch a good break
and people think you're lucky
but you know it’s grace
it can happen so fast
or a little bit late
timing is everything

you know I’ve had close calls
when it could have been me
I was young when I learned just
how fragile life could be
I lost friends of mine
I guess it wasn’t my time
time is everything

and I could have been a child that got took home
and I would have been one more unfinished song
and when it seems a rhyme is hard to find
that’s when one comes along
just in time

when I remember that day
when our eyes first met
you ran into the building to get out of the rain
cuz’ you were soaking wet
and as I held the door
you wanted to know my name
timing is everything

and I could have been another minute late
and you never would have crossed my path that day
and when it seems true love is hard to find
that’s when love comes along
just in time

well you can call it fate
or destiny
sometimes it really
seems like
it’s a mystery
cause you can be hurt by love
or healed by the same
timing is everything
and it can happen so fast
or a little bit late
timing is everything

Garrett Hedlund – Timing Is Everything Lyrics

The "what if we get pregnant" talk

I didn't have much to do the past two days of my sick leave. Was I enjoying my self? Not so much. Did I do much work? I did none actually. All I did was stay in bed. The tablets are just making me feel sicker, though the flu is receding. Blocked nose though. I had too much sleep that at the end of the day, I feel dizzy the whole day.

Hubby is still working overtime. The first night I was sick, he came home early, like 8pm. Then the next day, he was at the door at 3pm. He didn't say it out loud but I think he's worried about me sick. Him and his no-can't-show-her-how-I-feel mood. Blah! I know you love me sayang!

Before he was home, the sisters-in-law were hinting on again. It's becoming more frequent lately that I find it cute hehe. Amal was even requesting for twins! And Nadia, she was even willing to give us her room so hubby and I could get enough space for a baby cradle. When she told that to mom and dad, they were just too exited to renovate the room for us. I mean, I am not even pregnant yet lol! Ok, I get the hint alright ;)

And so, on the way home from a movie last night, I brought up the topic. Hubby was laughing when I told him the afternoon hinting story lol! Then he moved on saying how his colleagues thought that I was expecting too now that I am on sick leave. Apparently, he was mentioning me to his friends at work, and with that, he left work early because I was sick. He was teased then that we were pregnant! Oh boy. LoL!

I got teased at work too you know. A veteran colleague actually advised me to get preggy soon as I am not getting younger by day. Then despite my excuses, she made herself an example. At almost 55, her youngest son is now still in Year 8. Her fear now was being unable to spend her salary on him now that she is retiring soon. She also regretted how her youth was wasted on waiting for "the right moment" then, now that she was not young anymore to see her youngest child grow up as a man.

When I told this to hubby, he then told me what he thinks of the whole getting-pregnant-now thing. With the teasing from his friends, he actually said to them how having a baby is not as easy as one would think. Yes, having babies is His rezqi. But, we have to think wisely: we have to be prepared; mentally and most important of all, financially. Planning is the best thing to do now that we are not ready 100%.

One, hubby is still working outstation, which requires him to be away from home at least 12 hours a day, 6 days a week. I am, too, busy with work, which requires me to be on duties till late afternoon, almost every day.

Two, again, the hoping for masters degree scholarship excuse. If I get it, and be pregnant or have a baby at the same time, my studying periods will be ... I just can't imagine!

Three, financially, we're good. But not GOOD good, if you know what I mean. We calculated, even B$500 per month is not enough to raise a child nowadays. In the next few years, he/she will go to school and that will cost more - and we plan to send him/her to prestigious school in the first few years of his/her kindergarten years.

Four, it's mostly fear. I think hubby feels it too. Will we be good parents? Will we be able to teach him/her right? Will we be able to protect him/her from anything that causes him/her pain? Will we be good role models to him/her?

There are just too much responsibilities to bear. I know he wants it too, as much as I do. But to be mummy and daddy now, I think we are both not ready yet.

Okay, this is making me sad. I better stop now.

The bad cough and sore throat, again!

Good day all. It seems that this condition I am in is visiting me every month lately. I am in bed, all parts of my body are aching, I can barely breathe coz of this blocked nose and I can't seem to swallow any food due to this bad cough and sore throat. DH forbids me from going to work today and later, his mom will take me to the clinic.

When I fell sick 4 days ago, DH and I actually suspected a pregnancy as I couldn't take in any food (everything came out if I did) and I also had fever and headache. But now, I am having my period, despite the non-existence of painful waist-down PMS signs. I actually haven't had them the past two months now, NOT that I want them back or anything. It's just that, with their absence, I tend to get confused with the dates and such. And so, no, we're not pregnant. Yet.

I have gained weight (old story) but as much as I want to lose some kgs, it seems that I consume more than I "plan" to. I don't have the time to go hiking now coz my energy is used up at work. The only energy left daily is lifting up those fork and spoon during dinner. Okay, that's an overstatement but you know what I mean. Plus, the weather is just too wet to go anywhere now. So the only option I have now is having those foot patches attached to both my feet every now and then at night. Sometimes I lost a kg or two. Then again, I gained another after heavy breakfast or lunch.

It seems that my masters application is going history now that I heard there are a couple of applicants have been called for interviews, but me. So DH and I thought, having our junior is a tempting option now. Something that we shall get ready with. Thus I need to tone down. Mom said so if I were planning to get pregnant. Being fat and pregnant at the same time is not healthy to the baby and the mother, she said.

I will wait til September. If UBD is not happening, then DH and I will do some serious planning. This time, to conceive!

The what....??

Hey peeps! How are you lot? Just dropping by here to revive the page. Well, for now though. God knows when will I be able to have the time to do this again. I just feel like talking (well, writing) today.

Work today was okay, compared to the past weeks. The very first morning was very intriguing though. I came into the office and the first thing I saw was a little boy sitting on a chair. He saluted me and I smiled. So I asked one of the colleagues who the kid was. Aziz turned around, and looked back at me. Blankly, saying, "What kid?" And I was like ... Okaaay~~ and made my move to my desk.

Now, why didn't I bother, coz the place I work in has its own mysteries. Haunted ones. There have been "stories" that we had faced multiple times; hysteria, eerie sounds, moving things, bla bla bla. So today, experiencing "another" one was NOT an option.

I looked at the boy. He looked back. No expression. I looked at the others in the office, everybody seemed to be busy with their stuff at their tables. Then Hasanul (yes Aiza, Ejah. YOUR Hasanul) asked me about the 100-hours list. So I walked to him, bringing my file. So the whispering started:

Me: Sanul, you see that kid right?
Sanul: What kid?
Me: THAT kid. At the blue chair..
Sanul: *turned around*
Me: You see him?
Sanul: *clueless, blank expression*
Me: Sanul! NOT FUNNY okay!!
Sanul: What are you talking about? What kid? Are you kidding??
Me: No I'm not!
Sanul: *turned around again* There's nobody there Suzi.. *turned around again* Are you sure...?
Me: Wallahi! He's wearing Baju Melayu!
Sanul: Don't do this ehhh! I got goosebumps now...
Me: Errgh! Sanul... Not funnyyy!!! *left his table*

Then Hasanul followed me back to my desk. He stood in front of me and whispered, "Where is he? Is he behind me??" *His back was facing the kid*. I nodded slowly.

Right then, Hasanul walked to Aziz and whispered something. Aziz looked blanked. The same face expression Hasanul had a few minutes later. There, I told my self, "This can't be happening!!"

I packed my stuff, and headed to the door. "I'm going to class!!" I called out. Before I left, I turned around and faced Hasanul. "NOT funny Sanul if you DO see him!" and I made my move to my class.

In class, I sent a student to get something from my table. When he got back, he brought with him Aziz's message: "The thing you saw was not real." He said he had no idea what it meant. So I interrogated him. Asking him whether the office was empty. He said, other teachers were there.

Then I asked him what he saw at the chair. "I didn't pay attention, teacher."

Then I asked him, "Did you see a kid sitting there?"

"A kid? Yea. I saw a kid."

LOL!! People, I just got punk'd!! LOL!!

When I got back to the office, I laughed harder finding out that they got Faizul, Zir, Aziz, and Hasanul too!

Faizul panicked and urged all to leave the office - the rest laughed when he suggested that and the game was over lol.

Aziz read the Ayat Kursi - everyone joined in and raised their palms up for prayers - he stopped mid way when the kid raised his palms up too. Aziz actually thought the kid was a Muslim ghost! LOL!

When Zir came, she left immediately after "sensing" the ghost kid lol!

Then Hasanul acted as a hero, approaching the boy asking him to leave: "Pulang lah ke asal mu!" (Go back to where you belong!) Hahahahah!!

The funny story spread so quickly that we got the whole staffroom laughing.

Oh man! What a day! Ahahaha!!!

The one with the number and the (repeating) question

So it's my birthday today, which last night I thought I was gonna turn 33 but actually, 32.. I even did the calculation. Twice!

Anyway, I got like 120 birthday greetings on Fb. I'm thankful for their kind thoughts and prayers. And at the moment too, I am texting with a dear friend, who among others out there, just asked me the "question". And no, I am NOT pregnant the last time I checked.

Hubby and I have actually talked about this and we decided not to have our junior any time this year as I am waiting for an acceptance letter for me to further my studies. Hubby is concerned that if I were accepted, it would be difficult for me to focus on my studies, while at the same time having a baby. My sister-in-law is now taking her Masters Degree and it is indeed hard for her to do her assignments and projects as Baby Aqeel is on breastfeeding. Hubby sees the condition she is in and he thinks that, having our own at the moment is not a good idea. If I did not get the scholarship, then that is a different story all the way :)

Yet, this very matter makes me just wanna record the funniest I encountered so far. So last two weeks, I was sick right that I took two days off coz I lost my voice coz of sore throat. Then when I went back to work, a colleague came and asked how I was feeling. So I said, "Alhamdulillah, better," with my husky voice. Then she had 'that smile' on her face, you know, the one with the 'hidden, curious' meaning. So I gave her 'the look', which she didn't seem to understand coz the next thing she said is, "When will you due?" So I was like, "What??"

You can guess the hassle soon as I said, "No, I'm not pregnant." She insisted on saying, "You're not? Really??" Then came more female colleagues with the same question. One of them even said, "But someone said you ARE!" That baffled me!

People, I was being gossiped!

And so, the rest of the day, I was bombarded with the very same question. And I gave them the same reply. Finally tired of reasoning and all, I just said: "InsyaAllah," with a smile. I guess that would keep them quiet for a while now phew!

But later that day, in the afternoon, a student came to me and said: "So teacher, any baby yet?"

So I guess, rumours DO spread like fire!

The two days rest

I just got back from the clinic now. I must look a mess that the doc gave me 2 days MC. Now I am sitting at a corner of my house, no aircond & the fans are off. I am beginning to sweat now. Good! I want to get better tomorrow..

I was supposed to attend a sports selection day now but my colleagues forbid me from coming. Alhamdulillah for their understanding.

Now my eyes are heavy. The cough syrup is reacting so quickly... *yaaawn*

The sore throat and bad cough

I don't go to work today. Something was missing when I woke up this morning: my voice. So DH told me to stay home, have a rest and go to the clinic later today. I texted the admin side, and a few colleagues - I couldn't ring them up - and apologised. It's not typical of me to skip work at a very last minute but with my only weapon missing - my voice - my day today would be pretty much messed up in class, if you know what I mean. So I am getting ready to the clinic now. Good that I don't have headaches so I can assume that my Bp is not high today. Fingers cross!!

I must be lacking sleep and rest. Been a hectic week as I was pretty occupied with my sister's wedding preparations. The night before the nikah, I had to do 6 hantarans for the day, another 2 that very morning. Our morning was spent at an uncle's funeral, who passed away the night before. Later that day, I was running here and there welcoming guests and such. By evening, I was restless. Only yesterday morning that I had the cold and sore throat. And today, it has worsened *sighh*

I hope the weather would be nice to me this week. I still have 3 wedding functions to run :(((