The day Ramadhan cries

It's almost 7am now on 29th Ramadhan 1432H. It's been raining since before 6am today. I can't get back to sleep after sahur. In fact, I woke hubby up an hour earlier than our usual sahur time. I cooked some noodles for us at 1am coz he requested for indomie. I thought, why not cooking him noodles instead.

Well, he chose to have some McD's he bought in Miri yesterday for sahur. His tummy aches since 4 days ago and he has been very selective of food he takes - which ironically, some fast food and indomie are in his wish list. I told him to have him checked at the clinic but he refused to do so. He said he hated seeing doctors especially now. I say, it's his kiddy side talking. He chose to go to work instead and spend hours in the loo every day.

But the heavy rain is a big help today. It makes him stay in bed! He even asked me whether he should go to work or not. Of course I said he shouldn't. I used the heavy rain as an excuse, which he listened. If my charm had gone rusty, I'd use any tricks there are to keep him in bed with that condition!

So, he's sound asleep now, while here I am blogging as I can't get back to sleep since sahur. My eyes are heavy but the brain just refuses to sleep. So the brain wanders...

I think it rained this heavy last year on this very day. The year before too. And the year before that. People say, end of Ramadhan always rains showing that the spirits of the dead are crying as they have to leave families and friends behind. They cry because they have to wait another year to pay visits to the living. They cry because they want to stay longer, and never return to where they belong. They cry because of the sadness they can't bear inside. What say you?

I say, Ramadhan is sad leaving us. And I believe Ramadhan is sad when people play fireworks every night. It must feel like he is unwanted. I believe Ramadhan is sad when the radio is playing Raya songs as early as 7th day of fasting. Also sad when people are busy making kuehs and cakes for Raya instead of embracing him at all times.

I say, Ramadhan is sad witnessing certain people choose to stay home than spending time at the masjids. Or choose to sleep all day than waking up reciting those holy verses. Or stay awake during the nights performing Tarawikhs and Witr. I say, some of us forget to do our best in Ramadhan. These, among other things, make Ramadhan cry.

And I think Ramadhan is unhappy because I have not spent much time with him this year. I think I will forget him tomorrow but Ramadhan will come and see me again next year, if Allah wills it. I hope Allah wills it..

Ramadhan is crying still now. Now I am sad. My heart breaks letting him go, every time. And it's always too late to realise it...