Tuesday, 23 August 2011
Today marked the second day I spent my whole day either sleeping, or you-tubeing. Facebook is unattractive too lately. All I want to do is, rest. And enjoying every bit of the break like there is no more breaks tomorrow.
2011 workwise has been tiring. I get exhausted easily. Get angry and emotional quickly too. Pressure is at its peak like all the time. Maybe that's why I have gone sick for three times this year. Give it a month or two, then I will fill in that sick leave form again. It's just not healthy. I am not happy at work this year. I am just emotionally tired.
I guess I have to, need to keep my self out of the discipline affairs. I hope I can do that next year. I wanted to do so this year but as I was hoping too much for the Masters study leave, so I told my self, why not get on with it another year. Now that study leave seems rejected, I guess next year is definite that the discipline room should be without me. I must!
I am not happy that my preparing materials time is taken away. My free time is filled with work other than marking. In the end, I end up having empty spaces in my students' marks list, which eventually reflects on me as one "not doing work on time". And I hate that it's true! Maybe I have not done my best completing everything on time. But trust me, time is just what I need.
I don't bring work home. That's been forbidden for almost four years now. Why? Because I personally feel that I deserve all the rest I need after the long hours at work. So do now. Two weeks break, it just does not feel right to be at work and finishing up those incomplete pending workloads. I mean, when else can I rest??
I fell sick just before the break started last week. Yes, again. Good that I feel much better now. See. The off-work moment does help. I feel healthy now!
A few weeks back, I was sent to have my self checked at the clinic. That ended me up sent to the ER for having high blood pressure. I was held up for almost three hours. Eventually, it gone better. It must be the anxious feeling I had before the check up. The next few days, I had the results review of my kidney, blood, sugar, cholesterol, heart, bla bla bla. Alhamdulillah that everything was normal, except my 6.3 cholesterol level. And my blood pressure, it's still borderline but not for the doctor to worry. They set me up for another appointments next January; both with the doctor and dietition. I need to lose weight. Fast!
I've been watching my food intake since then. I've lost 2kg so far. But I'm sure that will be temporary as Eid is coming soon. I have my thoughts on them cakes and meals at open houses! Geez! Losing weight is hard!
Now that I am ok with most everything, I guess losing weight is a must-do soon. As Masters study application is not (seems not) gonna happen next year, I guess my body is ready to conceive. Give it another few months, InsyaAllah, I shall have my own baby bump. Ready or not, I was on alert when the Doctor said that conceiving is possible now. I guess, that's a good sign since I had always been worried about my health and getting pregnant.
InsyaAllah. There shall be good news next year.