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Seconds ticking since Suzila is HIS

Monday, 22 February 2010

The Khan story

"My name is Khan. And I'm not a terrorist."

Such short message but it shook the world. At least in that movie. The cinema was full again tonight. Luckily we bought the first two tickets last night or else we wouldn't be able to watch it just now. Many words could describe the movie. No words but good ones. Like that one scene when Khan was taught by his mom when he was little: "Only two things that make human different. The good ones and the bad ones. No other difference." You'll understand this message when you watch this movie.

What I like most about the movie is, it conveys what I have always had in mind about Muslim terrorists. Such disgrace because nothing in our Holy Quran ever mentions about killing innocence as good deed. Not at all. And this movie does represent this well and how such group who called themselves Muslims and proud of their so called "jihad" gives a bad image of us Muslims to the world when we as a whole have never had anything .. anything to do with their acts. May Allah show them the light to the right path. After all, they are still our brothers and sisters in Islam. Aaamiiinn...

Sure I cried watching the movie and I'm not ashamed of that. There's so much truth in the "Khan Story" that we Muslims can't or fail to say to the world. We care less about what's going on out there, those acts by our brothers and sisters of Islam. What we care a lot more is to live in peace and harmony, deciding on going on with our own lives. Why do we do this? Because we are afraid of the world's perceptions on us. This movie shows some views that would change the history of humanity. Trust. Faith. Belief. Peace. These, among others, if we have these, insyaAllah, Muslims will not be seen as terrorists as a whole. Why? If everybody has trust in Islam, how it works, and how it shall be obeyed, if faith remains and belief unchanged, surely peace will always exists. Not only among the Muslim societies, but everybody. Everybody around the globe.

Another scene presented in the movie was when this practitioner was trying to brainwash his Muslim brothers towards the so-called "jihad". Khan, who was there at the gathering in the mosque argued to this man's words, which he called the "satanic" words. He was using Ibrahim a.s.'s story of sacrificing his son, Ismail a.s., following the will by Allah s.w.t. He used this as a weapon to open the eyes of the Muslim men in the group, making them "see" that Allah demands killings for "jihad", although it would involve the killing of Ibrahim's own son.

Khan rejected this by saying that Ibrahim was loyal to Allah's words despite the words by a stranger of disobeying the will. How could a father kill his own son? The stranger would say. But Ibrahim did not listen to this stranger because he had faith in Allah. He trusted Allah. He believed that Allah would not let the blood of his own son flow from that sacrifice. He kept his faith at heart and he passed such test. Alhamdulillah for him for not listening to that stranger.

Who was that stranger, the Muslim men in the group asked. Khan answered: satan. Indeed. And with that, I agree. I always do. Now, who are those terrorists now? We know the answer.

And yes. My name is Suzila. And I'm not a terrorist.

Sunday, 21 February 2010

The cont...

The hunting started at 11am. We picked up Sharul's mum and Nadia, then we went to Batu Bersurat to check on the wedding packages at two separate bridal shops, Nurul and Ede awaited there. Nothing compared to the packages provided at The Mall, yet we loved the designs of some of the bridal costumes at the second shop we went to, though the price was just phewww!! Then again, it's the same problem that we had there: no size for us both huhu~~ We seriously need to slim down! Now we only have the tailors to blame: Why can't they just make bigger sizes?? WHY? WHY? WHY?? And so, the hunting continued.

Back at The Mall, I started to feel low: Sharul's mom didn't like any of the costumes we selected yesterday :( I quote: Too many pop-up flowers!! Sharul, with his one ear swollen, was able to keep away from the hassles: he was half deaf! So in the end, off we went to another bridal store. This time at Ong Sum Ping. Both our mums loved this particular bride-groom costumes in dark maroon. Sharul tried it on and it was a bit small for him, though the tailor said the bride's one could be altered to fit me. The groom's looked familiar. It was indeed worn by my brother on his Berbedak ceremony!! Small world. Checking on the package price, it was way more expensive than the last three we visited. And so, we left to another one in Bandar. Before that, we had lunch at Sumbangsih in Beribi, with the nuisance sound of the stage karaoke singers! What a day!!
I had myself measured while mom was browsing through the wedding packages.
DF trying on one of the outfit, his mom looking over.

After 3pm, we were in Bandar. There were two bridal stores. The first one had Nurul trying on a nikah set. The mums loved it. But still there was no suitable size and colours for me nor Sharul booo!! The next door shop had us stayed for almost three hours though. There were more choices, neater designs and the packages were not bad at all. I must say, the ones done by the tailor in Batu Bersurat were much better but budget wise, me and Sharul thought, it's way cheaper than the rest of the brial stores we went to today. What's more, they had our sizes yeayy!! I also got to design my own wedding dress with only an addition of $200!! The other stores required us to pay $300-$400. What's more, the mums loved the colours and designs I chose (Sharul was at the corner playing his iphone games. Having an ear blocked, it didn't really help him to pay attention. Poor thing!).
Hehe :D Him trying on the dastar.
I gotta admit he looked great in maroon ^_^
Nurul trying on one of the bajus :)
Filling up the form, finally!!

So, finally we agreed to settle on that last shop. Before we left, then we realised that the owner of the shop was my aunt's sister-in-law!! That's a good sign isn't it! :) It means, we can get more discount!! Woohooo!! :D We dropped off mum and Nadia, then my mum before we went to a night movie. We wanted to watch "My Name is Khan" starring Shah Rukh Khan and Kajol. Puchen, my brother, had watched it and he said it was an awesome movie. But the seats were full that only the first and second rows were free. We decided to go watch it tomorrow night and watched "Wolfman" tonight instead. We watched it with Nurul and Ede. It's not a bad movie at all, though the ending sucks! I hate sad endings..

Though the journey to our big day today was almost reaching its full status of D-O-N-E, I still got a lump in my heart for not gonna wear that stunning wedding dress in Batu Bersurat :( I hope the one I am gonna make for my own will resemble its beauty.

Or if it doesn't, then I will have to take more of my pennies out to make another, which will cost me a wholesome of $900 .. *sigh*

PS: Happy birthday Danny! Hope you had a great day today buddy :)

Saturday, 20 February 2010

The long weekend

It started from Thursday actually. An urgent meeting was held that morning at 8am and it dragged on til afternoon, with assembly and cleaning campaign in between. By 3ish, our brains were drained off after a brainstorming to another. The next morning, we were called for another cleaning campaign right up till almost mid day. By then, we were ready for the visit by the MOE Minister. We had a good team! I am proud of everybody's effort at making it work and look good *salute* :)

At 2ish, I picked up Lulu, Leng and Roslin at Lulu's and off we went to Kiem's Gong Xi Raya open house. I loved the food!!! And felt guilty afterward for eating so much huhu~~ Then the BLA+1 went beraya at Lulu's, then Johnny's in Rimba and finally at Leng's in Bandar.
Gotta love the CNY decos! :)
The group at Kiem's.
At Lulu's.
At Johnny's.
And finally at Leng's. Love the views from the balcony :)

By 6ish, the four of us got separated from the rest and went to Hua Ho Yayasan for a bit of window shopping: Lulu's uncle said that there were some clearance sales there. At after 7pm, we left bandar and went home. I didn't though. I went straight to see Sharul at his place. His right ear was swollen. He was a bit feverish and it was hard for him to eat. Feeling sick, he still wanted to go out watch a night movie. So, we did. We watched "Little Big Brother" starring Jackie Chan. Hilarious movie I must say! We loved it!!

Today at work, it wasn't a bad day at all. We were ready for the visit by the MOE Minister and his team. The dialogue went with less pressure than we had thought too :) They didn't manage to go around the school compound though or the kids would be very excited seeing him :) Everybody was thanking everybody for a job well done. And I am proud to be part of the family now :)
YB Pehin and part of his team today..
YB Pehin and Datin..
YB Pehin and his team before leaving the school, our principal and deputy principal on the right..

Before leaving home, I had a quick meeting with the the Drama committee concerning the Drama Competition that's coming up in April. The team decided to join the competition and so, my job is to find 10 students to participate in the 20-minute stage theatre performance before this coming Monday: I've gotta present the names to the school host by then..

After the meeting, I had an hour spent on marking then off I went accompanying Sharul to RIPAS Hospital. His ear had gone worse and he was told to see the specialist. He had had a check up in the morning and were told to have it checked again this afternoon. There were too many patients that his turn only came just before 4pm. The doc couldn't see the inside of Sharul's ear due to the swollen part. He injected some gluey like thingy into his ear and he will have to see the doctor again this Monday at 8.30am. So Sharul will not go to work again then.
My sayang having the check-up .. kesian .. :(

Leaving the hospital, Nurul texted me. She and mum were at Serusup, asking me to come see some bridal costumes. She had finally had her wedding dates sorted and had panic strike right away. She dragged mum out to check some bridal shops, and so she did to me too. Though tired, I guess, why not since dragging mum out of the house happened once in a blue moon: she always nailed herself down in front of TV watching those Indonesian drama series!

The wedding package there was okay yet we went off to another shop at The Mall. Mum liked the wedding dresses I chose. The package was not bad too. Nurul and Ede found the package the same but not Sharul. He thought it's better to check on other bridal stores before settling down on it. By then, the time showed almost 9pm so we left. I promised the sales assistant that we would come again tomorrow. I intend to bring Sharul's mum, hoping that she would love the dresses I chose today..

At the ground floor, mum found a wedding package souvenirs cost $1.40 each. Sharul and I thought it's pretty cool coz it came with boxes with our names printed on it, a little something we have always wanted to have as our wedding souvenirs for our guests :) And guess what! The owner of the shop was my dad's cousin!! So she gave me that pretty cheap price :D Alhamdulillah!! :D

It was a long weekend. And tomorrow is gonna be another long one as the hunting will begin again, till we find those suitable wedding costumes and less pricey packages. Please make it easy for us tomorrow ya Allah, aaamiiinnnn....

Thursday, 18 February 2010

The unexplained??

It's funny, ridiculously funny, when someone just can't understand what the word "commitment" means just because it does not exist in their personal diary.

Can't they understand that we have our own life to deal with? Can't they give us space by acting like grown ups? Or just quit being childish? I mean, hello! I am NOT obliged to just follow what they say all the time. I have other things to care a lot more than being somewhere I perceive as less important. I am glad others understand but it's just upsetting when "someone" doesn't. Come on la! Grow up!!

Now let me make it clearer here. I am now committed to Sharul, who is now my fiance. Everyone knows that. YOU know it too. He is going to be my husband, and I will be his wife. I have 10 more months to actually practice myself to be "the wife" and by then, InsyaAllah, I will be the one he's wished for as his wife. With very limited time that we have in a week, I would expect everybody to understand that my weekends are UNAVAILABLE other than for families and him. The rest of the days, I can be booked by those I call friends.

But if you, my friend, can NOT see the time I am NOT free for you, then I suggest you get those glasses on and try to read this page again, and again, and again, till you get it. If it still does not make sense to you still, well, you are most welcome to take off from my friendship list now.

The choice is left to you. Like it or not, I have my reasons. You can't see it well, then, we shall bid farewell.

Wednesday, 17 February 2010

The special something for the cats : )

So DF and I went to buy some dry food for the cats but we couldn't find Royal Canin at the place we usually buy it. Out of stock they said. Guess what we bought instead! Heeee :D a CAT HOUSE!! Yeayy!! We've been meaning to buy one for the felines but the price was always like $300 and above. But at this particular shop at Serusup, we got a really good bargain since it's the last set left. From $230, we could purchase it at the price of $160!! And so, we bought it right away! :D

The first to try out was Tiger. No surprise coz he's the most adventurous of the four. Prince Whiny has had his spot on the second level while Fluffy books the quare-shaped house. She loves it that she slept in seconds after we put her in it :D Luna loves the scratching walls but both her and Tiger enjoy the swinging ball :D My camera was out of battery that I could only take a few shots of their first try outs using my phone. We're so glad that we finally bought one for the cats. It's a very nice feeling doing so :)

I left before Sharul's parents came home. I guess, his mom would be growling tonight whoops!! But his dad's gonna go woohooo with it hehheh! He was wanting to buy one for them as well anyway but due to the expensive price, he had been waiting for it to get cheaper.

I wonder if the cats are playing with their new toy now :D It's so amazing seeing those cats running up and down the cat house. A special something at such great bargain :D

Prince Whiny at the very top, observing the younger ones "sakai" over the new comfy house hehehe :DFluffy in the square-shaped house, dozing off ignoring the outside scratching and exploring by Tiger and Luna. She seems loving the spot so much. We hope she won't be hiding in dark corners quietly no more from now on :)
Tiger and Luna trying to figure out how to ... erm .. jump off! :D
Tiger joining Fluffy in the small house, which Fluffy doesn't mind at all. And Luna is wondering where has he gone to hehehehe :D
Yep! Prince Whiny stays up there for quite some time. Shall we call him KING Whiny now? :P

Monday, 15 February 2010

The angel sent

I was getting ready to Lulu's place just now and saw my precious Fluffy sleeping on my very pillow. She looked so adorable that I took a picture of her right away. Have a look!

She's eating a lot today. Amazing! Usually when she's here, she barely eats a thing. Or drinks. Thanks to Brunei Cats for sharing tips to giving the right water for cats i.e. bottled water if they refuse to drink (because cats have strong sense of smell. They won't drink if they smell chlorine in the water). This is what they shared in their wall two days ago. Have a read cat lovers! :)

This morning, Fluffy was so manja, even stood on her hind legs so she could kiss my nose when I was sitting down during my dawn prayer. And so later on I groomed her and washed her after she poo-pooed. She didn't like that so she was angry for a while. I tried to pujuk her but she ignored me haha! For a while there we were playing that you-ignore-me-so-i-ignore-you-back game. In the end, she came to me quietly and slept next to me. That was just the sweetest thing ever! She never failed from making my heart melt :')

Thank you God for sending her to me. And thank you so much for giving her more time being with me. Please don't let her fall sick again. Please...

PS: I took Fluffy along to Lulu's coz I needed to take her home to Sharul's. She behaved well, sitting on Lulu's couch sniffing the new environment :) We took a few pictures before leaving. My cousin, Azrin, and his friends were there too. We loved Lulu's mom's keropok!! Even Sharul did too :) Happy Chinese New Year again Lulu :)

Sunday, 14 February 2010

The day he forgets..

It's not the day we celebrate annually. He, in particular, never believed in such day. I understand. Always do.

But would it hurt to at least remember things, simple things that have sentiments and bring back at least a memory, not to mention sweet ones?

Anyway, he forgets this when it was playing today at his place - his sister was watching it. And so, it was indeed frustrating .. It's the same day I felt last year as I wrote this ..

I don't need a Valentine's Day to make us closer. I need care, appreciation. Nothing more, nothing less.

Have a great lovers' day everybody. I didn't have any today *sigh*

The uncertainty II

In that dark corner of the room, she cried her heart out. Her heart beats seemed rhythmically slow as she let those tears flow down her cheeks. She held the key tight in her right palm and uncertain of what to do next. To confess, or to let it pass.

For a minute, she let the images of that afternoon's scene playing in her head. That unexpected gentle kiss and that warming need of her affection. She let herself drown in his arms; the man she was not supposed to be with. Tears of guilt rained through her heart. Now in that room, she waited and waited. To confess, or to let it pass? She had not decided that.

The sound of the door open skipped her heart a beat. At that very corner, she stood still in the dark, unwanting to make a sound. She frowned. She sensed another presence.

He was not alone.

Giggles followed the two figures wrapping each other entering the room. She stood silently, squinting her eyes, trying to see the moving images in the gleam.


She was in his arms, him holding her tight in his chest. Those giggles continued, unconscious of another breathing presence in the room. The figures headed to the room on the left and silence crept in when a gentle thud of the door was heard.

It all happened in a split second. She froze. Then she urged her shaking steps towards the door. She stood for a second, there, where the two had just gone into, uncertain of what to do next.

She was lost. She felt empty.

Gone now the guilt that she once felt and with a swift gesture, she shed her tears away. She held the key tight for one last time and put it down on the dining table.

With a free heart, she unlocked the exit door and left the house of the man she once loved.

The uncertainty

It was a fine day. There she was with her closest buddy in his ride heading to a destination she found unusual. She kept asking, but he seemed to ignore her, staring blank on the road, expressionless. She remained silent for as long as it could take.

The car stopped at a place unfamiliar. All she could see was the gloomy clouds and the thin light coming from the horizon. Were they at bay? She wasn't sure. A tingling feeling was felt as he held her arm and took her closer. She turned around and there was the man she kept close at heart. A mate so dear to her yet too uncertain to grasp. Their eyes met and he answered her questioning glare.

"Stay. You know it's not him but me. You belong to me. We're meant to be together. You can't just go like that. You know he won't let us close again like we are now. What will happen to us? I can't just let you go like that!"

She blinked a few times, unsure of what she had just heard. Whispers came in, consenting to what he just said. She looked down. Shame that she quietly agreed to his worries.

"Leave him! Then we will always be together. I will care for you, always. I promise, I will appreciate you more than you can ever imagine. I can't let you go. Stay!"

Another blink, alas he drew closer and landed a kiss on her lips. Puzzled, she pulled herself apart and nudged away but the force was too strong to kick away that feeling that remained.

And so, she stayed.

Friday, 12 February 2010

The passing of January

2010 is so far, alhamdulillah. What I meant to say is, it's not a year of any resemblance to those I had back in the old workplace. It's however, becoming one, nearing to, as workloads are piling up, and time has almost never resided next to me. My day now starts as early as dawn and I've to stay at work til late almost every day. I chose to, to cope with the untouched piles of books to be checked and marked. The morning is filled up with craps from faces of nuisances in every period of the day: fights, bullies, cries .. It just doesn't seem to stop. And bringing work home is the last thing I wanna do. I want home to be the time to relax. Hence, this page is barely touched this month. When I get home, I rest. But today, it's different. Maybe coz now my angel Fluffy is sleeping next to me and her soft snoring makes my heart smile :) So I finally gets the urge to write today, after two weeks of the so-called relaxation at home hah!

Anyway, just an update, I will be in Jakarta on 23rd next month. Coming with me are my parents and my two lil brothers. The flight will be leaving at 1am, most probably reaching Jakarta 2 hours after that. By then, we'll be taking a ride straight to Bandung. Am not sure how long it will take. I am tagging along with Louie and her cousin. Since she knows the place well, I guess it's better that I follow her. I heard buying stuff for a wedding is quite cheap there and the quality is just not bad at all. So I said, why not! Fatima and her husband will be coming along too so the trip would be a big group of us. I pray it will be fruitful, aamiinn... And I DO hope Sharul can join us too. He's asking for leave at the moment. I hope he gets it. It would be much better having him around. It's our wedding anyway. He deserves to know and choose the right items for it as much as I do :) On counting, we have less than 10 months for our big day :) Hope it goes well aaamiiinnn.... :) We'll be back to Brunei on 28th.

The past weeks Fluffy has been staying overnight at my place, in the weekends only though. She's getting used to the room now but not the house. She's going all frenzy finding places or corners to hide in when I take her out of my room. She must find the house similar to Sharul's coz our house structures are quite the same. What might have confused her would be the furniture and the smell of the house. Poor thing. Now she's napping on my thick blanket. She'd love me cove her up. I think she finds my room cool now that I just fixed the air con. It cost me a bloody $80 billl! Sharul thought that it was a fraud! What do I know huh pffttt!!

So, the first week Fluffy was here, you believe, we lost her!! I thought she'd left the house coz I didn't realise one of the windows was open. Azri and I went around the kampong by car hoping to see her trotting along the street but there was no sign of her. We called her out in and outside the house but with no avail. I had to leave then coz I needed to settle the tickets to Jakarta so I told my brothers to keep looking for her. Hours passed by, I was stuck at the airport and there I was worried of the missing Fluffy coz my brothers texted that they couldn't find her still. It was 5pm by then. She had been gone for 8 hours. Sharul was all fiery learning that :(

By the time I bought the tickets, we rushed home. Nadia, his sister, was with us. She helped me look for Fluffy too. An hour passed, there was still no sign of her. Then I remember Snow Shoe mentioning that finding a cat with a torch would help a lot. So I told Sharul to buy one. Though hopeless - he thought Fluffy had really gone - he went to buy one anyway. Once it's in my hand, in less than 5 minutes, I found her!! She was sleeping right behind my dad's stuff, near his home gym, the exact same place where we looked for her many times! I can't believe she sat there quietly without food and water, ignoring us calling her, for 11 straight hours! I swear, I thought we had really lost her! The next day, we bought her that neck belt with bells. TWO bells! Now, she can't hide no more! LOL!! That was quite an experience! We cried losing her! Nadia was even thinking of skipping school coz of the overwhelming sadness of losing Fluffy. She is one coward cat!! Marah pun tak guna! Chehh!!

Taken this morning at the kitchen: Fluffy eyeing the door, ready to jump off and run away from the unfamiliar kitchen. Look at her frightened eyes .. *sigh* Sooo penakut!!
Taken a few minutes ago: Fluffy sleeping on her pillow, covered with blanket. She looks like a baby sleeping, except that deafening snoring of course hehe :P

Last night, Sharul and I went to watch Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief. We loved it! And I think literature students would love it too. The director is the one directing the Harry Potter movies so you can tell how good the picture effects and stuff are. We watched 14 Blades too. Now that was also an awesome movie! We loved the hero, the one who acted as Bruce Lee's master before ... can't remember the name of that movie now. He was the 14 Blades warrior. And he was awesome! We loved the robber in the movie too. Little that we know that he was that Bruneian Wu Chun guy (did I spell his name right??).

I've heard of him but friends been saying how his acting was soft and girlish so I tend to avoid not wasting my money watching him in movies, nor buying his drama series DVDs. But in this movie, he was ... WOW!! His acting was fine, and that was the first time I saw him act. The next night, at The Mall, I thought I saw him going down. He was in front of us but I wasn't so sure. When he turned around, I nudged Sharul and yes! It WAS Wu Chun!! Too bad he was rushing to the parking lot or else, I would've stopped him for a photograph :) I quote Sharul said:

"Kalau tau awal tadi, bawa ya begambar!!"

LOL! See! And this is coming from someone who doesn't like Brunei talents! So yes, now I admit, Wu Chun is one big talent that I've seen. I am sorry for listening to those voices before or I would've been a big fan ever since!

So what else ... There's too much to share that I lost track ... Oh, two more big assignments to do. One I can still turn down ... now in the process on "creating" excuses to able me to say "NO", another is a must do unfortunately. But at least, it's something I enjoy doing. It's another leadership camp yeayy!! The paperwork is on the way. By next week, the meeting will be held discussing on activities to be included in the camp. I've got a few, now waiting for the committee members to come up with more. The camp will be held next month. Let's hope it doesn't clash with my trip to Jakarta ya .. Yikes!

PS: My sis and I went to the UK Education Fair some time last week. I'm sure she'll get a place in York Uni. I wouldn't so I don't think I'll apply there. I talked with this girl at the SOAS Uni booth. She was so friendly that made me wanting to go to SOAS hehe :P What's more, SOAS is offering MA in Linguistics and its course content is very much similar to my proposal paper. That could be a sign isn't it ;) Another uni that I am applying to to Aberdeen Uni (thanks to Aiza for her help *hugs*). It's offering Sociolinguistics. The thing is, in my scholarship application form, I put in MA in Sociolinguistics, but the proposal that I am doing is very much different from the course itself ... So I am hoping to get to SOAS Uni instead. At least, the course content will be related much to the research studies taht I am proposing. IF I get the scholarship, I DO hope that I could change the course ... Or if it can't be done, then I will have to come up with another proposal ... I know Allah will give me the best answer. Whatever it may be, Alhamdulillah ya Allah :)

I AM AN ARIES: The Daredevil (huh??)

Energetic (yea, in many ways)

Adventurous and spontaneous (definitely)

Confident and enthusiastic (yup!)

Fun (hmm ... I should ask my friends that!)

Loves a challenge (100%)

EXTREMELY impatient (well, I hate waiting. Does that count??)

Sometimes selfish (am I??)

Short fuse; easily angered (hell yeah!)

Lively, passionate and sharp wit (hmm ... No comment!)

Outgoing (for sure!)

Lose interest quickly - easily bored (most of the time)

Egostical (in some ways; my baby says "in MANY ways" LOL!!)

Courageous and assertive (I agree!)

Tends to be physical and athletic (hmm ... Naah!!)

Fun with your photos
Created with - photo fun

My engagement: 01.01.10

My engagement: 01.01.10
Suzila Ahmad

The engagement ring :)

A cake from him

For him

With my dad & Sharul's :)

With my mum and his :)

With two of my closest girlfriends: Azean & Yanti :)