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Seconds ticking since Suzila is HIS

Friday, 29 February 2008

29th February ~ A Date To Remember!

Hi everyone! Happy 29th Feb! To some people maybe it’s just a date but to others and myself, it’s a big date really. I learnt the tradition of 29th Feb from my lecturer at UBD, saying that the date is when girls propose to men, just like the typical trend where men proposing to girls. It’s a date when girls are expected, shall I say, to express their feelings to guys they admire and adore. Sweet isn’t it :)

I remember that time when Miss Ann told us about the date. It was 29th Feb. One of my classmates then jokingly said that he’d stand on the first floor of the lecture theatre and scream to all girls in the campus to propose him! Hehehe :D he’s a funny lad! I miss him. We all miss him. Unfortunately, he’s now not in the shape of making jokes with us like before. One night in 2001, he fell in a coma and now, he’s paralyzed.

He was a good friend. An ‘A’ student in fact. Helping us with assignments and all! Hehe! He was so funny! I remember one day, he went speeding along the road infront of the CLT and had to stop as he left his books and papers on the rooftop of his car!! In the end, he had to get out and picked up all the mess along the road! He just gave me his stupid smile while I laughed out loud for his clumsiness! He was also there when I was down and in need of a true friend who’d lend an ear. He even shared his love stories with me while waiting for the lectures to start. He’s a sweetheart. I do hope that one day, he’ll be the guy we all know and joke around with, just like before…

So, yeah… every 29th Feb, I’d remember him. Somehow, he’d pop up in my head everytime the date comes. I haven’t met him for a while now. I do hope he’s fine and getting better.

I also remember one time, when I was in the car waiting for my mum shopping, I was listening to the radio. It was when Capital FM was still around so was listening to this show on 29th Feb. It was so romantic when the girls proposed their men on air! There was also a little girl calling the deejay that she was in love with her class teacher. She even proposed to him on air! It was hilarious but sweet at the same time as the girl was only 7 years old :) How magical the date is that gives girls as young as that age to make such move and not embarrassed about it at all.

And today, I went out with Sharul :D First, we sent my car to the car wash then we had lunch at Aminah Ariff, having ambuyat and all the tasty dishes. Yummy!! Then off we went to Bismi and Mubarak. I bought stationeries there (I lost my pencil case, again! Been 2 weeks now and it’s really hard working without it!!). Then we took my car at the car wash then we went to The Mall to do some shopping for my toiletries at Winmark. Then we went downstairs at Utama Grand and bought an air freshener for my room. I had been wanting to buy it for ages! I hesitated at first to spend so much on an air freshener but of course, he made me buy it. He’s good at both controlling and persuading me in whatever I do. It had been like that for years I was with him :) A sweet memory to remember really…

I had a good time today. I didn’t make proposal, though I was the one asking him out :) I missed him so badly. Afterall, we were together for 6 years. Of course it takes time to erase the feeling I have for him, though I have chosen to let him go.

29th Feb! Another memory to remember now. One day, I’ll make that proposal to a guy I’m sure to live with for the rest of my life. When? Of course, on 29th Feb! The date will come and I will take all the chances I get. It will be another good memory to remember too!

Thursday, 28 February 2008

Grow Old With You ~ Adam Sandler in The Wedding Singer ~

I wanna make you smile
Whenever you’re sad
Carry you around when your arthritis’ bad
Oh all I wanna do
Is grow old with you

I’ll get your medicine
When your tummy aches
Build you fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice
Growing old with you

I’ll miss you . . . kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold
Need you . . . feed you
Even let you hold the remote control

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed when you’ve had so much to drink
Oh I could be the man
Grows old with you

I wanna grow old with you . . .



~~~~ I always love this song. I love this movie and I always love Drew Barrymore! The song's so simple yet it's got so touching lyrics! Can't believe the movie's made 10 years ago! ~~~~

Saturday, 23 February 2008

. . . I WANT . . .


I want life to greet me
When I open my eyes and see
Everybody’s smiles on me
And chuckles of my babies

I want to wake up with a smile
A grin on my face that’s so mild
For being loved is just startling
It’ll be a dream that’s so amazing

I want to wake up with heartfelt desire
To pour my love and all my care
To all that I own and ever have
To everyone that I shall bear

I want to be where they are
To be the center in their mind
To be the crest in their heart
So I won’t be forgotten and left behind

I want to be everywhere
To everywhere they go
To follow to track them
To protect them from harm

For I show my love amid actions
For everybody to sense
How I want others to see
How great my love is

I want to walk, run and lie
With those in my heart reside
I want to smile, laugh and cry
With those in my heart survive

I want to open my eyes and see
Whom I love where I’d be
I want to see when my eyes closed
Seeing my loved ones though in sleep

I want the one truly to come
When all he wants is me in his arms
Together we’ll share ups and downs
Till we grow old with hundred lines

Wednesday, 20 February 2008

WASTED, UNAPPRECIATED, IMMORAL

Can't stop my head from thinking about the abandoned baby boy. Just can't understand how it could be wasted that easily . . . Just wrote something about it so to pour my disappointment over the lost of the baby . . . :(

Heartbeats, moves and kicks
Smiley seems accompanied
Somehow dash with worries
Nobody claimed the remedies

Regrets trailed
Head to toe
Who to blame
Feel ashamed

Minutes to days
Days to months
Belly beyond
Ease unfound

Moment came
Felt the pain
Cries heard
Baby borned

Its presence sensed
But ignored
Pushed aside
Ears closed

Tears dropped
Eyes shut
As baby taken
And all gone

Problem’s solved? Is that so?
I believe not coz that’s killing a soul!!!

People! People! Please listen all
Babies are innocent and pure
And care is all they need
For God sent them for us to heed
For us to feed
To love
To educate
And above all
For us to keep . . .

May the baby get the love and care from Allah The Almighty in the Jannah, Ameen . . .

. . . A TOUCHING STORY EVER SHARED . . .

Today, on the way to work, I was listening to the news. My tears fell as I heard another 'baby remain' found yesterday morning - IN A PLASTIC BOX!!! It's just so . . . May Allah open their hearts for mercy to Him The Almighty and to see their IMMORALITY so not to lose anymore innocent soul ever borned!!

Really people! I just don't get it! How could a mother do that to her own kid?? After having it for 9 months in her womb??? The report said, the normal, complete baby boy was believed to be abandoned, with its umbilical chord still attached to its small tummy. Ya Allah!! What were they thinking, how were they feeling, leaving the baby there, in the box? In the dumpster?? Masya Allah!! How could they ever do that? To such an innocent soul? I couldn't find any acceptable excuses for them doing such an immoral act!! Na'uzubillah!!

Later today, I found a story when I was browsing the net. Just wanna share this with you all . . . Hope it'll give us an inch of insight and awareness on how precious everyone's life is . . .

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I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll." Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. "It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her." I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there." His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister."

My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall." Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister." Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?" "OK" he said, "I hope I do have enough."

I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me! I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose. My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

For those who prefer to think that God is not watching over us.... go ahead and ignore this. For the rest of us... pass this on.

The value of a man or woman resides in what he or she gives, not in what they are capable of receiving.
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SAVE LIVES! DON'T RUIN INNOCENT SOULS!!

Saturday, 16 February 2008

... I FEEL ... I SEE ...

I feel you there
I feel you in the air
I see you see me
I see you care


I feel your lost
I feel your bare
I see your thought
I see your scare


I feel you near
I feel you afar
I see you here
I see your star


I feel you night
I feel you day
I see you close
I see you away


I feel your sense
I feel you everywhere
I see your absence
I see you nowhere


I feel your presence
I feel your company
I see your charm
I see your harm


I feel you’re lost
I feel you still
I see you’re cross
I see you nil


~A woman's thought of a man who's always present but absent in mind~
~A man's sense of a woman's sensitivity and demands~
~A lover's wish for a loyal soulmate~
~A partner's reaching that's still far~

Thursday, 14 February 2008

~~LOVERS DAY NO MORE~~















When time’s here
She sees well
When time’s gone
She feels ill
To him she looks up
To sides she ignores
When time is up
Her heart sores

Lovers here
Lovers there
Where she is
No one cares
Waits for him
The one truly
When it’s coming
Gone she flees

Hearts desire
All differs
Her heart’s felt
He conquers
Her heart’s filled
He seems there
When the day comes
He’s just nowhere


There she’s again
All in pain
Lonely and dead
Hard to get
When time’s here
She’s alone
When he’s there
She’s all gone


It's my first time alone on Lovers Day in six years ... Feels so empty now that I've no one to pour my heart out to. Just let out these verses here on Valentine's Day. I shed my first tear the moment I finished the last line. Guess I've kept those hurtful feelings inside for so long. Now that it's exploded, I hope I'd smile again tomorrow.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! May our hearts guide us to happiness and everlasting love ...

Wednesday, 13 February 2008

I LOVE YOU by Joanna Wang

I love you
Say we’re together baby
You and me . . .

I can only give my life
And show you all I am
In this breath I breathe
I will promise you my heart
And give you all you need
If you take some time

If you tell me you don’t need me anymore
That our love will won’t last forever . . . No . . .
I will ask you for a chance to try again
To make our love a little better . . . Ooh . . .

I love you
Say we’re together baby
Say we’re together . . . Ooh . . .
I need you
I need you forever baby
You and me . . .

You said you hardly know
Exactly who I am
So hard to understand
And you’re right from the start
From the way I felt inside
If you read my mind

If you tell me you don’t need me anymore
That our love will won’t last forever . . . No . . .
I will ask you for a chance to try again
To make our love a little better . . . Ooh . . .

I love you
Say we’re together baby
Say we’re together . . . Ooh . . .
I need you
I need you forever baby
You and me . . .

Remember when you used to hold me
Remember when you made me cry
You said you loved me
Oh you did
Yes you did

I love you
Say we’re together baby
Say we’re together . . . Ooh . . .
I need you
I need you forever baby
You and me . . .

LOVE IS...

I used to ask a friend how does it feel to be in love and she'd say, "It's a wonderful feeling that wherever you go, you'd wonder if he's there somewhere watching over you." So I thought to myself, is that a good feeling when you just can't feel your 'freedom' IF he's 'just' everywhere you go? Is it a good feeling when you just keep looking and finally find him nowhere to be seen? So I thought to myself, "Well, love is not just 'that' I believe. Love must be shown to all!!"

Personally for me, to love is to fight for the one we love. To love is to be there for him when he's in need. To love is to do everything for him just to put him away from any pain and misery. To love is just, HIM. Him and only him. When I love, HE shall come first, then ME ... Therefore, for all the love that I've had for those in my past, I never have a bit of regret for not seeing any of them work as I have, proudly, shown them 'my love' unconditionally!!!

Recently I met a guy in Tagged, whom I called Seagull (still wondering why he calls himself that really!). We had a long chat over what LOVE really means. The conversation dragged on with us talking about the 'types' of love that we have. It was so 'educational' that eventually I gotta learn all meanings of love, through a perspective of a man.

Confidently, I said to him that I have felt 'love' before, telling him it's an indescribable feeling that nobody can ever figure out how it actually feels. Proudly, I told him how I have treated my loved ones with all my heart and soul, sacrificing almost everything that I ever owned, not regretting any of them. Proud, that's what I felt for I thought I had won the charts of 'the greatest love ever shown'!!

Then he argued, pointing out, how would I love my family then? Because, the love to our family is so unconditional that we'd show it through trust, thoughts and loyalty. A father's love to his child is so unlimited that he'd sacrifice his years of adulthood to see his baby grow with his two bare hands. A mother's love to her child is so great that it can't be measured by any length that she'd pour all her sweat to see her own breed see the world freely.

Our love to our family is so unconditional that however we feel about someone, it can never be as great as the love of a father or mother to their child. Though we had sacrificed everything for the one we so-called 'love', would that be as the same level of the sacrifice made by our family to us? Should we show a person how much we love him? How should we treat him? Care for him? Have what you had done so far made you be 'qualified' as loving someone deeply? If to love is to love unconditionally, how do we do it so as to prove to the world that we do feel that way for the person we love??

The conversation made me wonder whether I ever loved someone unconditionally before or had I just being plainly 'stupid' by trying to prove to everybody 'how much' I have loved him? Or have I just being ... plainly 'dumb' for keep giving and giving and never get anything in return??

Really Seagull, you've made my head go round thinking of what we talked about. Thank you for the chat and really, you've made me think of the real meaning of LOVE ... and still searching ...

Thursday, 7 February 2008

Stumbled

Stepped on the pit stumbled and down
Crawled up and saw the line
Sun shone through and hit the ground
Too clumsy and lift the gown
Eyes on her with the frowns
Heads shaking words thrown
What a lady so clumsy
All cheeky and so dirty
What choice do I have she'd say
I'm just a lady with a fair
Survival is priority no one cares
She's a lady stronger than others
So don't laugh and point at her
She's just a soul like us all


This I wrote on my thought of women who are facing difficulties in life, victimised by the world around them and surviving on their own two bare hands. They maybe labeled as a bad omen but if you could see their pain, how they have faced and gone through the twist of life and still surviving ... I see that as a victory!

Let's see it this way my friends. Nobody wants to live a bad life. All of us want to be in some sort of Disney World's happy endings and living happily ever after. Do you think these women 'choose' to be like this? Living in the dark world and losing their dignity? I don't think so! No one is born with black hearts.

They have their reasons to be there. If we could give them a hand and lift them out of that world they live in, why not! They don't have a choice, that's them saying. But we DO have a choice to make their life better so let's help these women out of their misery. Let them taste the love of all and acceptance of all people. Why not! We can make this happen!!

Sunday, 3 February 2008

Prayed Wishes ~ Have You Ever ~

Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night and felt something was missing?
Have you ever wondered how complete you could have been if you did something you wished you should’ve done?
Have you ever thought of turning back the time to change something you wished you shouldn’t do?
Have you ever wished to be somewhere you prayed you should be instead of someone else?
Have you ever wanted your life differently than the life you have now?
Have you ever dreamt of replacing one’s pain just to see them happy?
Have you ever yearned for an everlasting attention from one you care?
Have you ever quit wishing for something you ever wanted in life?
Have you ever given up hope on something you have fought so much before?
Have you ever stopped praying for His attention and mercy so you’d have that smile on your face again?
Have you ever considered giving answers to all these questions?
You would say by now, have I really wished for a better life?
Have I really lived a good life?
Sometimes, I do ask myself questions like these.
Whatever answers I have in my hands, I am sure I worth God’s creation.
Thank you Lord for all the attentions you have given me. Who am I to complain? I am just your humble servant walking on your living earth till I one day bow my head to you finally.

I AM AN ARIES: The Daredevil (huh??)

Energetic (yea, in many ways)

Adventurous and spontaneous (definitely)

Confident and enthusiastic (yup!)

Fun (hmm ... I should ask my friends that!)

Loves a challenge (100%)

EXTREMELY impatient (well, I hate waiting. Does that count??)

Sometimes selfish (am I??)

Short fuse; easily angered (hell yeah!)

Lively, passionate and sharp wit (hmm ... No comment!)

Outgoing (for sure!)

Lose interest quickly - easily bored (most of the time)

Egostical (in some ways; my baby says "in MANY ways" LOL!!)

Courageous and assertive (I agree!)

Tends to be physical and athletic (hmm ... Naah!!)

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My engagement: 01.01.10

My engagement: 01.01.10
Suzila Ahmad

The engagement ring :)

A cake from him

For him

With my dad & Sharul's :)

With my mum and his :)

With two of my closest girlfriends: Azean & Yanti :)
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