Seconds ticking to our Big Day

Daisypath Wedding tickers

Seconds ticking since Suzila is HIS

Wednesday, 29 April 2009

Chiss!!

Just went through some old pictures (and new ones) and since I got nothing much to do this afternoon, I decided to create an album in my Facebook. I named it 'Suzila & Friends'.

Now just finished uploading the selected pixies and leaving notes on each one of them. Also tagging those who happen to have Facebook accounts. Then I took the time checking all the pictures again, only to realise tears streaming down my face, especially looking at pictures taken with BLA+1 at work back then :'(

The new environment is rather hard to get on with. It's me, not the rest. I just haven't found the right combination or chemistry with the new faces just yet.

I miss my ex colleagues so dearly. Though I go out with some of them almost every week (updating each other's news), but it still feels different going to work without having to see them every break time or free periods. I miss the old time so damn much!! And I'm still crying now!!

Or maybe it's the PMS. Darn!!

The gang from Computer Department.
The BLA+1 professionally attached and socially very very close!
Mixture of departments. SMB will always be in my heart, except for a certain individual!! :@
Always been my favourite picture. Like it's taken from a studio. Salutation to Johnny's photo taking expertise :)


PS: Happy birthday to my cousin Yanti. I pray for her happiness to remain with her and her loved ones for many birthdays to come. Aamiinnnn *hugs*

Thursday, 23 April 2009

Programmed ... Aren't We?

Hi guys! Just got here. Didn't get the chance to go online yesterday. Was a long day *thinking* ... Ok, I seriously forgot what I did yesterday! Will update you later when it comes around! Erk!! (Sign of aging?? Huhu~~) ..

I finally managed to drag my baby out to the movie today to watch "He's Just Not That Into You". We met Fred, Fay, Fendy and Lyna, also a friend of theirs. It's my second time watching it: the first time with Lulu and Leng. And you know what, I still shed a tear watching some of the touchy scenes of the movie, especially when Gigi argued with Alex and the last part when Beth found something in her boyfriend's pocket (am not gonna spoil it! It's the sweetest part of the movie I must say). And of course when Gigi was an 'exception' to her own love life drama :-) She is one sweet girl. Her innocence reminds me a lot of my blogger friend, Izz ;-) Sayang you Izz! Jangan marah!! Hehe :-p

Come to think of it, it's like a smack to the head realising how we women have been 'programmed' by the, shall I say, 'face saving acts'. We refuse to accept the bad ends but make a few dramatic twists so to suit our needs and wants, like what Alex said, we make our life complicated when men try to make (or show) to the point, right to our faces! We women are the drama queens of our own worlds. I find it funny yet insulting at the same time but can't really reject the 'truth' either, especially ones pointed out by Alex. Dude! He's so right!! Well, at least I think he is .. not sure 'bout you girls out there ;-)

Speaking from experience, before I met Sharul, I had my own love life drama. Believe it or not, I've had experiences with someone's else's husband, fiance and boyfriend. All the 3 said, "I met you too late Suzi," but they got on with their lives anyway, with their partners. And so, yep! I ditched them (I didn't know they were attached when we first met).

The worst line was, "My life will never be the same without you." And I swallowed it, and let them go. I fed myself with all those foods I could find and eventually grew bigger in size erk! I was feeling so bad for leaving them, wondering how my life would turn out to be IF I chose to stay and be the bitch. What a drama! But after watching this movie, I said to myself .. Damn! I was so dumped!!!

Food. Yes, speaking of food .. I do think we're somehow 'programmed' in such a way that we'd be accepted among all, especially by those who've been watching their diets and smoothness of their beautiful skins. I remember when I was a teen, I'd eat when I felt like it, unnoticing what others might've thought of my 'way' of feeding myself. Til that one day, during Eid, when I went out with my 2 girlfriends. We were out visiting some friends' houses with some senior boys, one of them happened to be 1 of the girls' cousin.

So, my favourite dish for Raya has always been the Cornflakes biscuit. You know, the one with the honey and butter and sugar and bla bla bla (sia2 pun!). Anyway, I was munching 1. Then another. Then the 3rd, you know, innocently. When the plate was almost finished, my pretty girlfriends 'laughed' at me! I was like ... what' so funny? And they said, "You finished all?" You know, in a mocking kind of tune. Then I realised the mountain-like wrapping papers of the biscuits on the table. I wondered, what's wrong with that? but finally got the idea when they didn't 'actually' eat any of the dishes served: practically showing off their 'limitations' to eating too much in front of the boys or maybe so to keep their red shiny lipstick on all the time! Since then, I watched what I ate, or 'how much' I ate any food served, as I realised others 'would' be watching, or even 'counting'. I was programmed!!

Sometimes now, I still feel the 'threat'. When my friends couldn't finish their food and had stopped eating, I'd do the same despite the urge I had of wanting to finish off the tiny bits of pieces on my plate. Why? The worries. The mocks. 'That' look. I have been programmed to watch .. and stop, my eating urges. And still I grow big! Ahahaha :-P

I've been programmed in so may ways, I know. I can feel it! I'm sure I'll figure it out soon enough ;-)

Oh, it just struck me! Yesterday, I went to the movie watching 'The Mall Cop' with Sharul. Before that we had lunch at Soto Tinis. Sharul didn't eat anything. He was on a 2-day MC. He caught a fever last Tuesday (39 degrees) and I took him to the clinic at Ong Sum Ping that night. Yesterday, he was as fit as a horse! And today, we went out again. He is enjoying his 2 days off ;-)


PS: Happy birthday to my sister Leej! Love ya sis! Mwahs!!

Monday, 20 April 2009

....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NU-gOFQkGA&feature=related

Still touches me ... I remember reading this back in college and shed a tear. Can't believe it happened 10 years ago and still feels like yesterday.

When this happened, it was a shock. It became the most talk-about topic at school. We even discussed it over GP. Then another massacre happened a few years after that. Teachers were killed. Teenagers murdered. The reasons were mainly 'bullying'.

How sad .. No matter the reason, there's no reason for anyone to take others' lives!

May the victims rest in peace. And those survived have mended the scars over the lost of loved ones ... My heart shatters seeing the video ... :'(

The Weekend

I finally went out to cut my cloths for my bro's wedding. While with the tailor, Sharul brought in his cousin's nephew, Daniel. Remember him? The fat chubby boy? Well, it's usually hard to get him out of his crib. So when he's finally out, I grabbed the chance baby-talking with him and people, he's grown wayyyy bigger than the last time I saw him. Fuhh!! And he talks clearer now :-)

Cheeese .... :-D
What a curios boy! The tailor was drawing the sketches of my bajus and Daniel learnt from her. He took a pencil, grabbed a piece of paper and started scribbling! Very cute! :-)
I know! I did tell you guys that kids love Sharul right. It shows clearly here ..
Sharul's drawing a sketch of Daniel .. Big round head, big round cheeks, big round tummy .. Aren't they cute together!! *head over heels* And look at Daniel!! What a curious boy!! Hehehe :-P
Hehehe .. Scared of his own sketching. In denial I bet hehehe :-P

Later at home, I spent the time decorating my bro's 'hantaran'. I sat for hours, now my hips are aching huhu~~ I only managed to do 6 of them. Diana saw them just now and next time, we'd do it together here for her 'hantaran'. I know! It's funny hehe. Nevermind. That's called family bonding ;-)

What do you think? Need more touch ups huh! Hmm ... *mati akal*


PS: Went hiking and brisk walking with Lulu and Zulaiha this afternoon. We did all in 2 hours. Well, 45 minutes of gossiping in between though akekeke :-P We met Gerard and wifey while going down the hill, also Tracey and 2 other ex colleagues. While I need to sweat to be fit, these ex colleagues of mine do it to release the tension erk!! Pity them really *sigh* Now I feel fresh though a bit restless. I think am gonna hit my pillows soon after this *yawn* Nite2 peeps!!

Saturday, 18 April 2009

My Baby's New Addiction

Hmmm .... Gotta bear with this, alamak!!! Boys will be boys ..

Thursday, 16 April 2009

Funny Yet Sweet :-)

Alright. Time to share my so-called 'romantic' plan with Sharul on my birthday yesterday. Here goes ..

I texted him 5 minutes to 12am, you know, killing that ego inside of me, saying all the mush-mushy stuff (for the 1st time I think erk!!). Sure I didn't get a reply right away coz I was sure he should be sound asleep by the time. So, the text sounded (and I 100% meant it from the bottom of my heart):

"It's 5 mins to 12am. I just wanna say 'thank you' for being there for me and loving me more each and every minute of my life. I love you and as I reach 30, you will hear me say those 3 words more than you ever ask me to. Mohammad Shahrul Faidzal, you're my heart, my soul, my everything. I love you. Forever and always.."

And so 5 hours later his 'golden' text came in ..

"Happy birthday my sweet heart. Mwaahz! I love you so much Sayang."

Hmm ... sweet! *tap fingers on keyboard* So I texted again:

"So, you're gonna pick me up later at 7, then what?" *hinting*

No reply!

... Then his sister's text came in saying:

"Happy birthday to you sis Suzi. Brighten your day with smile. Mom and dad said 'mudahan sehat selalu, murah rezeki and happy selalu'. We always love you."

... So, his sister could type a better message, as you can see here ..

I couldn't take the suspense, I spent the whole afternoon napping. By 7pm, I was ready but my Sharul was 20 minutes late! His reason, why the rush. Hmmm ... Okay!

So, I thought he had planned 'something' for me, you know, for my birthday. The next thing I knew, we were heading to Capers! I was like ... What???

So I jumped in with 'my' plan! *since his idea was not as I expected*

We headed to Wecan, as recommended by Lulu and Anih. Just before reaching the restaurant, Sharul gave me a card. I said, why now? He said, why not? So I opened it. I love the wordings. The sweetest part is, he's got our picture glued in the card itself.

Then he urged me to take my present from the car drawer in front of me. I was like ... now? He said, why not? So, I did. I love the presents. Good choice :) But why in the car? Why not over dinner?? He said, why not? So I was like ... Owkaaay ...

Before going out, Sharul hesitated. When I asked him what is it? He replied, how bout the cake? This time around, I couldn't help myself and said, you're a bad planner love!!! Really bad planner!! LOL!!!

So, the dinner was at Wecan. It didn't turn out as I dreamed it to be but I realised having him around on my day was just enough to make me special, especially with his innocence and all LOL! I am so crazy in love with this guy!! It's funny yet sweet!

What's more, he had to carry the cake back to the car for me to bring home as we were so stuffed with our so-called romantic dinner LOL!!!


The wordings:

SWEETHEART

You are my everything.
You are the waking world
that shines on me each morning,
and the dreamworld welcoming me
with your good-night kiss.

You're laughter when I need it most,
the ultimate shoulder
for every tear I'll ever cry,
levelheaded advice
when things can be fixed,
and simple tenderness
for when they just can't ...

You are my everything.
I feel lucky to know you,
and to be known by you,
deeply and truly known,
and so very lucky to be loved by you

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

I felt the love and still feel the love :-)


PS: To up-date, I got 14 text messages, 11 MSN wishes, 20 FB wishes, 4 greetings , 6 blog greetings :-)

Wednesday, 15 April 2009

The Day I Feel Loved :-)

So far, I've received 14 text messages, 9 MSN wishes, 17 Facebook wishes, 4 greetings and 3 wishes from bloggers :-) Thanks all!! Love you guys to bits!! :-)

Tuesday, 14 April 2009

Tik ... Tik ... Tik ... Tik ...

In 5 hours, I will be 30 *breathe in .. breathe out .. I'm NOT old. NOT old*

This reminds me a lot when I was turning 20 ten years ago. I was in such denial that I refused to open the presents from my friends right up to the time when it showed 11:55pm (coz that was the time I was actually born). My heart beat fast as the time ticking to the exact hour. I just didn't want to turn 20! I wanted to remain 19 at least hehehe :P I think I cried a tear even erk!!

I don't quite feel the same as 10 years ago now. I am not excited. Not scared. Nervous? Maybe. But just can't find a reason why I should feel that way. Happy? Hmmm ... Yea, in a way. I am glad Allah has made my life this long, Alhamdulillah :-) Sad? Definitely not. But there are other things that get me thinking as I reach the digit 3. Things like ... Maturity. Future. Looks (obviously!). Health. Marriage. Kids. Well, the sort. A lot more. And so far, I have got a few in hand.

1. I can take care of myself (though basically I am obliged to staying with my parents til I am entitled to become a 'wife' to a somebody). At times, it's me my family turns to in terms of family matters. I am a halper. A problem solver. Without me, my mother's gonna be helpless. She always says this. So yes, I am a reliable mature woman (though am still a 'kid' to Sharul's eyes :P).

2. My future is yet to clear, either good or bad, I leave it all to Him. So far I've got my secure profession. I've got a car (though not a dream car of mine huhu). Financially, I am still struggling. I wanna own a house before I am 40 :)

3. I am still working on my looks. Gotta prepare myself for my big day next year huhu~~ I don't want to show pictures of my big fat bottom sitting on the aile to my grandchildren. It's my greatest nightmare!!

4. Alhamdulillah. I haven't had asthma attack since the last visit to the doc a few weeks ago. I still depend on the puffer, in case I get the attack anytime. And since the transfer, I haven't got major headaches anymore. So it's obvious that I seriously had high BP back then due to the pressure at work. Alhamdulillah ya Allah :-)

5. InsyaAllah, the big day will go on as planned. Sharul wants us to have babies (see the plural form there) soon after the wedding but I want to have at least a year to become his 'baby' ;) InsyaAllah. I need your blessing and prayers too people :-)

6. I have friends around. Azean still peaks the rest. BLA+1 are also the best I have around in life. I hope these friendships will last, so as my friendships with you guys out there. The older I get, the more friends I have. Strangers become friends. Friends become companions. You're one of them. You know who you are. Thank you very much :-) *hugs*

So, I have plans for tomorrow. I've shared with all the lists. I've got a place in mind for my night with Sharul tomorrow *blushing* and I hope it will turn well as planned. I have one problem left.

The cake.

I don't know whether to buy me the cake, or Sharul would. But since today's his mother's birthday, and he's buying one for her, I strongly think he's buying one for me too ;)

I will book the table after work tomorrow. I want it different this year. I want it specially celebrated with him. Sharul has promised to leave work early tomorrow too so I'm sure it will turn great!

Age is just a number. I always say it to birthday friends on their days too. So now, I am saying the same line to my self.

AGE IS JUST A NUMBER.

And I wanna add to that ...

AGE IS JUST A NUMBER. LIVE LIFE THE FULLEST! :-D

And sure I will!! :)

Sunday, 12 April 2009

Hugs and Kisses

The entrance: Junjong Bed & Breakfast
The view from the backyard
The playground ..
.. and the swimming pool
Just like home :-)
At the attic :-)
The bedroom ..
The morning breakfast
Group photo before check-out

We finally got separated. The ladies night out was awesome. I had fun and my sleep was undisturbed as the bed was just fantastic! Fatima, Dayle & Chantalle left before Louie this morning while I had to wait for Sharul to pick me up later on at 11am. I killed the time chit-chatting with the landlord of the rest house we stayed over night in. They were a great couple and I think the husband a.k.a. manager of the Junjong B&B is the RTB newsreader. I thanked them for making such business and told them it's about time Brunei has its own weekend get-away where you escape from the hussle and bussle of the city. Do visit this to find out more about the rest house and its cost :)

Time passed, I shared with the couple of Dinawan. They were then eager telling me their up-coming project on building more rest houses or cabins. Sure I gave them details of how Dinawan cottages or huts are. The wifey then requested me to add her on Facebook so she could see the pictures I took in Dinawan. Of course I'd do that, soon! If we could have an artificial Dinawan here, why not! It's cheaper and nearer. It would save the time traveling to KK too I believe.

Sharul came a few minutes before 11 and off I went to Yanti's engagement at 3pm. She looked stunning in her gold coloured Kebaya. I had to control myself from letting the happy tears rolling down my cheek when we hugged after the ceremony ended. "Don't! Or I'll start crying too!" she whispered. Gosh! I couldn't help myself and I let those tears fall. I had to hide it from her coz she'd sure start crying too if she saw me I did. I am so happy for her!

Now it's almost 10pm. I just got back from YMRM buying 3 sets of cloths for my brother's wedding in June. Gosh! I was so tired and sleepy that I had to call Sharul to help me choose. My sisters were just too occupied with them choosing theirs. I gotta say, I'm gonna look glitterish coz my 3 sisters decided to have those as the theme! I was so annoyed! Am sooo gonna look like a clown!

Okay dowkie! See you all in the next entry. I need to rest my eyes, and my frozen brain! I need to sleep!

Nitey nite people! Mwahs!

I AM AN ARIES: The Daredevil (huh??)

Energetic (yea, in many ways)

Adventurous and spontaneous (definitely)

Confident and enthusiastic (yup!)

Fun (hmm ... I should ask my friends that!)

Loves a challenge (100%)

EXTREMELY impatient (well, I hate waiting. Does that count??)

Sometimes selfish (am I??)

Short fuse; easily angered (hell yeah!)

Lively, passionate and sharp wit (hmm ... No comment!)

Outgoing (for sure!)

Lose interest quickly - easily bored (most of the time)

Egostical (in some ways; my baby says "in MANY ways" LOL!!)

Courageous and assertive (I agree!)

Tends to be physical and athletic (hmm ... Naah!!)

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My engagement: 01.01.10

My engagement: 01.01.10
Suzila Ahmad

The engagement ring :)

A cake from him

For him

With my dad & Sharul's :)

With my mum and his :)

With two of my closest girlfriends: Azean & Yanti :)
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