The passing days

The day after tomorrow shall be the sighting of Syawal. Ramadhan so far has gone by quickly. I personally haven't done much to grasp the holy weeks that I passed by. Regrets are all I ever feel and forever will as I had let those precious moments passed me by without appreciating and humbling my self to Him. I, of all servants, will not forgive my self!

Alhamdulillah. Ramadhan has been kind to all I must say. Yesterday, an ex student converted to Islam. He invited me through Facebook to his ceremony in the Religious Affairs Centre but I could not make it as hubby is using my car to work. His is at the workshop at the moment. The day before, my family held a tahlil and break the fast event at our home in Lambak. Alhamdulillah, all went smoothly. I started cooking simple kuehs as early as 10am and by 5pm, I was ready in my black jubah. It's nice seeing familiar faces gathering at our place.

Vege springrolls

Begedil

Alhamdulillah too hubby is at his best fasting. Only a day break this year compared to the previous one. His job under the hot sun has always been demanding and so, this sometimes requires him to break his fast. I always tell him off saying, "Fast today or have it any way on other normal day. It's your choice but I will make you pay every day that you break!" Alhamdulillah, he listens. I have to be mean to make him better. I am certain that there's a reason why God makes me his wife. And I shall try be a good one for him.

Every sahur is a pain this year. A small fight is inevitable on each day. Hubby is a heavy sleeper. Again, his demanding job is to blame; it drains his energy out six days a week. Hence, waking him up for sahur is the hardest trial for me as a wife. Many times I failed making him stand on his feet, nor did I make them eyes open to wake. At the same time, I refuse to bring that plate of sahur meal for him in bed. I refuse to make it a habit. I must train him, and my self. He must wake up, or no sahur for him at all.

But at times, I failed too to make my self listen. The dutiful side of me as a wife sometimes forges me to feed him in bed. I worry about his lack of energy at work the next day. Yet today, another test tickled me.

"When did you put this plate in my hands?", he asked.

I shook my head and replied, "You scolded me a moment ago for being too pushy and now you ask me that?!"

He chuckled and said, "I did? What I said?"

I shut him up by asking him to finish up his food. It was 10 minutes left to dawn.

I tell my self it's only my first year. But I also tell my self that in many years to come, I shall make better months of Ramadhan for us both. An almost a cup full of him fasting is one accomplishment I should be proud of this year.

Next year, I shall be meaner, and better. For him. And for us. Aamiiin...