Seconds ticking to our Big Day

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Seconds ticking since Suzila is HIS

Saturday, 10 December 2011

10.12.2001 - 10.12.2011

I've been away for too long now but today is an exception. Gotta blog about our 10th anniversary tonight.

Alhamdulillah. We're still strong now. Hope to see another 10 years of us together InsyaAllah.

No special treatment today as DH was out working till 7pm. I am under the weather too so not in the mood to celebrate really. I spent most of the day in bed, feeling queasy all day. It's worse today after a few days. Friends are already congratulating me on Fb, hoping that Suzila's junior is on the way. Even DH was asking the same question. Well, it's still early to answer that coz my period is in the next 10 days at least. InsyaAllah. May the best be for us both, aamiiin.

Happy anniversary to you sayang. I wanted to write longer but can't think straight right now. I guess the cold night wind outside the house has gotten into me now. I know, I know. I should've listened to you. What do you expect. It's full eclipse tonight. Everybody is busy talking about it and you know me too well to just ignore that right!

Anyway, he did say, "Ain't our anniversary special tonight?"

He may be the least romantic husband there ever is around but once he opens that mouth of his, he always melts my heart.

I love you sayang!!

Tuesday, 30 August 2011

The day Ramadhan cries

It's almost 7am now on 29th Ramadhan 1432H. It's been raining since before 6am today. I can't get back to sleep after sahur. In fact, I woke hubby up an hour earlier than our usual sahur time. I cooked some noodles for us at 1am coz he requested for indomie. I thought, why not cooking him noodles instead.

Well, he chose to have some McD's he bought in Miri yesterday for sahur. His tummy aches since 4 days ago and he has been very selective of food he takes - which ironically, some fast food and indomie are in his wish list. I told him to have him checked at the clinic but he refused to do so. He said he hated seeing doctors especially now. I say, it's his kiddy side talking. He chose to go to work instead and spend hours in the loo every day.

But the heavy rain is a big help today. It makes him stay in bed! He even asked me whether he should go to work or not. Of course I said he shouldn't. I used the heavy rain as an excuse, which he listened. If my charm had gone rusty, I'd use any tricks there are to keep him in bed with that condition!

So, he's sound asleep now, while here I am blogging as I can't get back to sleep since sahur. My eyes are heavy but the brain just refuses to sleep. So the brain wanders...

I think it rained this heavy last year on this very day. The year before too. And the year before that. People say, end of Ramadhan always rains showing that the spirits of the dead are crying as they have to leave families and friends behind. They cry because they have to wait another year to pay visits to the living. They cry because they want to stay longer, and never return to where they belong. They cry because of the sadness they can't bear inside. What say you?

I say, Ramadhan is sad leaving us. And I believe Ramadhan is sad when people play fireworks every night. It must feel like he is unwanted. I believe Ramadhan is sad when the radio is playing Raya songs as early as 7th day of fasting. Also sad when people are busy making kuehs and cakes for Raya instead of embracing him at all times.

I say, Ramadhan is sad witnessing certain people choose to stay home than spending time at the masjids. Or choose to sleep all day than waking up reciting those holy verses. Or stay awake during the nights performing Tarawikhs and Witr. I say, some of us forget to do our best in Ramadhan. These, among other things, make Ramadhan cry.

And I think Ramadhan is unhappy because I have not spent much time with him this year. I think I will forget him tomorrow but Ramadhan will come and see me again next year, if Allah wills it. I hope Allah wills it..

Ramadhan is crying still now. Now I am sad. My heart breaks letting him go, every time. And it's always too late to realise it...

Monday, 29 August 2011

The one with precious moments spent

After we dined out yesterday, we went to Qlap. Our main intention was to look for this cat, whose picture had been put up in facebook. The cat named Tina could be seen on a counter of an electronic shop somewhere in Qlap. So to see her, we went into every electronic shop there, but we didn't get a sight of her. Instead, we got interested in a few electronic items sold. They were so cheap that we were tempted to buy one or two. But then, having no home of our own, we thought, buying them could wait. Now we have some ideas on what to get for our home one day, and at what price.

Who wouldn't want to see her. Look at that face!! (picture taken from a colleague's Fb album)

Speaking of home, I haven't really submitted nor filled in the application form for a housing for us. But when he mentioned that we need one soon, I thought, maybe it's time to apply for one.

So I said, "What if we get pregnant and have a baby, say.. next year? Who will look after the house?"

He said, "That's not a problem. We will just stay there. Not go nowhere. Easy!"

I said, "How can that be easy? I would have my mom helping me with the baby."

Then he said, "Easy peasy. I will call Nanny Mc Phee."

Sighhh! If only us women could think that worry-less huh. Sometimes I wonder how men could be so stress free, when we women wonder about even very little things.

Anyway, so I will fill in that form when I'm back to work next week insyaAllah. We shall start saving up coz it'll take 6 months to a year to get a house nowadays. By the time we get it, I hope we manage to keep a few $Ks so we can buy some furniture for the house. I don't worry much about kitchen wares and utensils. We got lots of wedding gifts that could fill up the kitchen. China sets, cooking utensils, toasters, tupperware sets, chopping knives, you name it. Alhamdulillah for that :))

Then hubby led me into this shop selling baby stuff and toys. I got so excited looking for toys for my nephew that I bought him a set. Little that I knew that hubby was counting the price for stuff needed for a baby instead. I say, awww... My heart melted right then.

He said, "Look at these. These are all we gotta buy when we get pregnant. That's a lot.."

I saw concerns in his eyes. I know he is worried about our preparation if we ever get pregnant. He said once that he wanted the best for our kid, not even a lil bit of lacks material wise, as well as his education. I know how he feels. I worry the same. We are no rich couple who has thousands of dollars in our pockets. But seeing him started counting his budget last night, that made me feel that he's going to be the best dad in the world :'))

My nephew: Muhammad Aqeel Fa'eeq, at 10 months, posing with his Baby Boo counting book :)Something I bought for Baby Fa'eeq. He loves music and gadgets. So I thought, he'd love these toys :))

The yummy sungkai

Hubby texted me through Facebook inbox yesterday saying he had booked us seats for sungkai out at Capers. It would be out first sungkai out this year as husband and wife. Last time with the in-laws didn't count. We weren't alone. Heheh ;p

We always love eating out at Capers. We love the food. We love the place. The smell... Pheww~ ;) But most importantly, we love the all-you-can-eat idea! For only $14.80 per head, and ordering as many food as we wish, who wouldn't love to go there! I mean, sungkai buffet prices have gone bonkers the past years. It's like $9.00 per head the cheapest now? Yet the dishes were just simple, a so-so taste. And the queueing takes forever to the buffet dishes. Too crowded too. So Capers it was.

We ordered 5 dishes. Apart from that, hubby took a few slices of pepperoni pizza from the buffet booth, which served 4 different kinds of pasta. At another booth, there were cakes and snacks. Just awesome! We were just too happy yesterday lol~ And I finally had my pasta carbonara yesterday, after weeks for craving. Alhamdulillah :))

Us :))

Today, I was hubby-less during iftar. He was in Miri with his friend. He said he would have McDonald's for sungkai. Since hubby was not around, so I cooked "mee basah seafood". He doesn't eat seafood. He's allergic. Kesian.

My first attempt was a success, yeay! My family loved it and my sister even thought it was mom who cooked it. I mean, that WAS a compliment! My mom is the best cook in the world what! ;p

The fried noodles

The seafood soup

Mee basah seafood. Yummy!! ;))

Sunday, 28 August 2011

The passing days

The day after tomorrow shall be the sighting of Syawal. Ramadhan so far has gone by quickly. I personally haven't done much to grasp the holy weeks that I passed by. Regrets are all I ever feel and forever will as I had let those precious moments passed me by without appreciating and humbling my self to Him. I, of all servants, will not forgive my self!

Alhamdulillah. Ramadhan has been kind to all I must say. Yesterday, an ex student converted to Islam. He invited me through Facebook to his ceremony in the Religious Affairs Centre but I could not make it as hubby is using my car to work. His is at the workshop at the moment. The day before, my family held a tahlil and break the fast event at our home in Lambak. Alhamdulillah, all went smoothly. I started cooking simple kuehs as early as 10am and by 5pm, I was ready in my black jubah. It's nice seeing familiar faces gathering at our place.

Vege springrolls


Alhamdulillah too hubby is at his best fasting. Only a day break this year compared to the previous one. His job under the hot sun has always been demanding and so, this sometimes requires him to break his fast. I always tell him off saying, "Fast today or have it any way on other normal day. It's your choice but I will make you pay every day that you break!" Alhamdulillah, he listens. I have to be mean to make him better. I am certain that there's a reason why God makes me his wife. And I shall try be a good one for him.

Every sahur is a pain this year. A small fight is inevitable on each day. Hubby is a heavy sleeper. Again, his demanding job is to blame; it drains his energy out six days a week. Hence, waking him up for sahur is the hardest trial for me as a wife. Many times I failed making him stand on his feet, nor did I make them eyes open to wake. At the same time, I refuse to bring that plate of sahur meal for him in bed. I refuse to make it a habit. I must train him, and my self. He must wake up, or no sahur for him at all.

But at times, I failed too to make my self listen. The dutiful side of me as a wife sometimes forges me to feed him in bed. I worry about his lack of energy at work the next day. Yet today, another test tickled me.

"When did you put this plate in my hands?", he asked.

I shook my head and replied, "You scolded me a moment ago for being too pushy and now you ask me that?!"

He chuckled and said, "I did? What I said?"

I shut him up by asking him to finish up his food. It was 10 minutes left to dawn.

I tell my self it's only my first year. But I also tell my self that in many years to come, I shall make better months of Ramadhan for us both. An almost a cup full of him fasting is one accomplishment I should be proud of this year.

Next year, I shall be meaner, and better. For him. And for us. Aamiiin...

Tuesday, 23 August 2011

The break

Today marked the second day I spent my whole day either sleeping, or you-tubeing. Facebook is unattractive too lately. All I want to do is, rest. And enjoying every bit of the break like there is no more breaks tomorrow.

2011 workwise has been tiring. I get exhausted easily. Get angry and emotional quickly too. Pressure is at its peak like all the time. Maybe that's why I have gone sick for three times this year. Give it a month or two, then I will fill in that sick leave form again. It's just not healthy. I am not happy at work this year. I am just emotionally tired.

I guess I have to, need to keep my self out of the discipline affairs. I hope I can do that next year. I wanted to do so this year but as I was hoping too much for the Masters study leave, so I told my self, why not get on with it another year. Now that study leave seems rejected, I guess next year is definite that the discipline room should be without me. I must!

I am not happy that my preparing materials time is taken away. My free time is filled with work other than marking. In the end, I end up having empty spaces in my students' marks list, which eventually reflects on me as one "not doing work on time". And I hate that it's true! Maybe I have not done my best completing everything on time. But trust me, time is just what I need.

I don't bring work home. That's been forbidden for almost four years now. Why? Because I personally feel that I deserve all the rest I need after the long hours at work. So do now. Two weeks break, it just does not feel right to be at work and finishing up those incomplete pending workloads. I mean, when else can I rest??

I fell sick just before the break started last week. Yes, again. Good that I feel much better now. See. The off-work moment does help. I feel healthy now!

A few weeks back, I was sent to have my self checked at the clinic. That ended me up sent to the ER for having high blood pressure. I was held up for almost three hours. Eventually, it gone better. It must be the anxious feeling I had before the check up. The next few days, I had the results review of my kidney, blood, sugar, cholesterol, heart, bla bla bla. Alhamdulillah that everything was normal, except my 6.3 cholesterol level. And my blood pressure, it's still borderline but not for the doctor to worry. They set me up for another appointments next January; both with the doctor and dietition. I need to lose weight. Fast!

I've been watching my food intake since then. I've lost 2kg so far. But I'm sure that will be temporary as Eid is coming soon. I have my thoughts on them cakes and meals at open houses! Geez! Losing weight is hard!

Now that I am ok with most everything, I guess losing weight is a must-do soon. As Masters study application is not (seems not) gonna happen next year, I guess my body is ready to conceive. Give it another few months, InsyaAllah, I shall have my own baby bump. Ready or not, I was on alert when the Doctor said that conceiving is possible now. I guess, that's a good sign since I had always been worried about my health and getting pregnant.

InsyaAllah. There shall be good news next year.

Friday, 17 June 2011

My babies' day

It's hubby's birthday. I didn't get him any cakes or any special treats. He never likes to make it big anyway. He always says that with me around, it is enough gift he could ask for. Ok, that still makes my heart melt :')

And we decided it's Fluffy's birthday too today last year, since we were only told that she was born in June but no particular dates were given. Hubby said, it should fall on his birthday so, Fluffy is two years old today :)

Hubby and Fluffy on their birthday :)
Fluffy enjoying her birthday meal :D

I did buy him a gift way before today. We went to watch a movie at Qlap Cineplex last 31st March. Then there is this corner on the second floor that sells cards. Not just any cards but those that with tricks. Anyway, hubby loves this kind of stuff so when he went to the loo, I bought him two sets of the cards, cost me almost $40. That made him happy. Sometimes, he has that little guy in him. I wonder when he is gonna grow up fully lol~

So his skills have gone better, after days and multiple of practice. Friends and families were left with awe when he managed to pull a trick or two. I always find it funny. His mom always says to me, "Abang is still the same. Never change. Still the little boy of the family."

Hubby and his magic cards. Look at that happy face!

Hubby pulling card tricks to on his sister and dad. Funny moments there lol~

I must say, he is. And I love this man so. May you live happily always sayang :)

Saturday, 4 June 2011

The one of those moments

It's almost 2 a.m. now and I can't sleep yet. Yesterday is still bugging me and it seems the silent treatment isn't working unlike it used to. He did realise the cold treatment I'm sure but the words I am expecting to hear ain't coming out anytime soon now. I know and I've heard it before. Men can be clueless of women's sensitivity. They say things, do things they wish to. And we women, on top of other things, feel upset, sad over those what they call "silly things". For me, women, don't deserve such treatment. Men should be more sensitive. And us women, should be tougher in hearts. So we won't cry over those "silly things" listed in their diaries.

Oh well. Maybe I should just let it be. Afterall, I'm the wife. The one who's written to listen, to serve, to obey. Yet the ego side of me, an old friend of mine who decides to stay, is telling me other wise. Hence, I had forbidden my self from shedding those tears but that didn't last long. His ego is way bigger, higher than mine I suppose. Or he's just playing plain ignorant. I dunno. No words of his have soothen this hurtful feeling I'm having. Or worse, hasn't he realised what he's done??

Ok that's the 'old friend' talking there. I am sure it won't turn bad tomorrow. Or the day after. And the next. I know the 'kiss and make up' moment will happen. I am just sulkingly sad and upset. And it just makes me feel more upset when he just doesn't seem to care.

I should snap out of this coz I sound childish. I hate that feeling. But at the same time, I want to be treated right. I should be. Can't he just do that? And be more sensitive??

I miss him. This no-talking phase must stop!

Thursday, 2 June 2011

The day out

Just got home from a four-hour tattoo show, and another two-hour plus of X-Men movie. But I am not happy anymore. I feel that I should just stay home today. And slept the whole day through.

I feel like crying but I don't think it's necessary. I just feel so sensitive over small matters lately. I just do.

I wanna let it all flow here but the inner side of me says, don't. Which I think I should listen to this time coz I know when I feel better tomorrow, now would feel like nonsense.

Damn it! Get a grip Suzi!

Thursday, 26 May 2011

The one that says it all

I found this song posted by a friend on her Fb wall. I fell in love with it right away. Ease your ears readers. It's a lovely song with very very meaningful lyrics. Simple but sweet.

Garrett Hedlund – Timing Is Everything Lyrics

when the stars line up
and you catch a good break
and people think you're lucky
but you know it’s grace
it can happen so fast
or a little bit late
timing is everything

you know I’ve had close calls
when it could have been me
I was young when I learned just
how fragile life could be
I lost friends of mine
I guess it wasn’t my time
time is everything

and I could have been a child that got took home
and I would have been one more unfinished song
and when it seems a rhyme is hard to find
that’s when one comes along
just in time

when I remember that day
when our eyes first met
you ran into the building to get out of the rain
cuz’ you were soaking wet
and as I held the door
you wanted to know my name
timing is everything

and I could have been another minute late
and you never would have crossed my path that day
and when it seems true love is hard to find
that’s when love comes along
just in time

well you can call it fate
or destiny
sometimes it really
seems like
it’s a mystery
cause you can be hurt by love
or healed by the same
timing is everything
and it can happen so fast
or a little bit late
timing is everything

Garrett Hedlund – Timing Is Everything Lyrics

The "what if we get pregnant" talk

I didn't have much to do the past two days of my sick leave. Was I enjoying my self? Not so much. Did I do much work? I did none actually. All I did was stay in bed. The tablets are just making me feel sicker, though the flu is receding. Blocked nose though. I had too much sleep that at the end of the day, I feel dizzy the whole day.

Hubby is still working overtime. The first night I was sick, he came home early, like 8pm. Then the next day, he was at the door at 3pm. He didn't say it out loud but I think he's worried about me sick. Him and his no-can't-show-her-how-I-feel mood. Blah! I know you love me sayang!

Before he was home, the sisters-in-law were hinting on again. It's becoming more frequent lately that I find it cute hehe. Amal was even requesting for twins! And Nadia, she was even willing to give us her room so hubby and I could get enough space for a baby cradle. When she told that to mom and dad, they were just too exited to renovate the room for us. I mean, I am not even pregnant yet lol! Ok, I get the hint alright ;)

And so, on the way home from a movie last night, I brought up the topic. Hubby was laughing when I told him the afternoon hinting story lol! Then he moved on saying how his colleagues thought that I was expecting too now that I am on sick leave. Apparently, he was mentioning me to his friends at work, and with that, he left work early because I was sick. He was teased then that we were pregnant! Oh boy. LoL!

I got teased at work too you know. A veteran colleague actually advised me to get preggy soon as I am not getting younger by day. Then despite my excuses, she made herself an example. At almost 55, her youngest son is now still in Year 8. Her fear now was being unable to spend her salary on him now that she is retiring soon. She also regretted how her youth was wasted on waiting for "the right moment" then, now that she was not young anymore to see her youngest child grow up as a man.

When I told this to hubby, he then told me what he thinks of the whole getting-pregnant-now thing. With the teasing from his friends, he actually said to them how having a baby is not as easy as one would think. Yes, having babies is His rezqi. But, we have to think wisely: we have to be prepared; mentally and most important of all, financially. Planning is the best thing to do now that we are not ready 100%.

One, hubby is still working outstation, which requires him to be away from home at least 12 hours a day, 6 days a week. I am, too, busy with work, which requires me to be on duties till late afternoon, almost every day.

Two, again, the hoping for masters degree scholarship excuse. If I get it, and be pregnant or have a baby at the same time, my studying periods will be ... I just can't imagine!

Three, financially, we're good. But not GOOD good, if you know what I mean. We calculated, even B$500 per month is not enough to raise a child nowadays. In the next few years, he/she will go to school and that will cost more - and we plan to send him/her to prestigious school in the first few years of his/her kindergarten years.

Four, it's mostly fear. I think hubby feels it too. Will we be good parents? Will we be able to teach him/her right? Will we be able to protect him/her from anything that causes him/her pain? Will we be good role models to him/her?

There are just too much responsibilities to bear. I know he wants it too, as much as I do. But to be mummy and daddy now, I think we are both not ready yet.

Okay, this is making me sad. I better stop now.

Tuesday, 24 May 2011

The bad cough and sore throat, again!

Good day all. It seems that this condition I am in is visiting me every month lately. I am in bed, all parts of my body are aching, I can barely breathe coz of this blocked nose and I can't seem to swallow any food due to this bad cough and sore throat. DH forbids me from going to work today and later, his mom will take me to the clinic.

When I fell sick 4 days ago, DH and I actually suspected a pregnancy as I couldn't take in any food (everything came out if I did) and I also had fever and headache. But now, I am having my period, despite the non-existence of painful waist-down PMS signs. I actually haven't had them the past two months now, NOT that I want them back or anything. It's just that, with their absence, I tend to get confused with the dates and such. And so, no, we're not pregnant. Yet.

I have gained weight (old story) but as much as I want to lose some kgs, it seems that I consume more than I "plan" to. I don't have the time to go hiking now coz my energy is used up at work. The only energy left daily is lifting up those fork and spoon during dinner. Okay, that's an overstatement but you know what I mean. Plus, the weather is just too wet to go anywhere now. So the only option I have now is having those foot patches attached to both my feet every now and then at night. Sometimes I lost a kg or two. Then again, I gained another after heavy breakfast or lunch.

It seems that my masters application is going history now that I heard there are a couple of applicants have been called for interviews, but me. So DH and I thought, having our junior is a tempting option now. Something that we shall get ready with. Thus I need to tone down. Mom said so if I were planning to get pregnant. Being fat and pregnant at the same time is not healthy to the baby and the mother, she said.

I will wait til September. If UBD is not happening, then DH and I will do some serious planning. This time, to conceive!

Tuesday, 17 May 2011

The what....??

Hey peeps! How are you lot? Just dropping by here to revive the page. Well, for now though. God knows when will I be able to have the time to do this again. I just feel like talking (well, writing) today.

Work today was okay, compared to the past weeks. The very first morning was very intriguing though. I came into the office and the first thing I saw was a little boy sitting on a chair. He saluted me and I smiled. So I asked one of the colleagues who the kid was. Aziz turned around, and looked back at me. Blankly, saying, "What kid?" And I was like ... Okaaay~~ and made my move to my desk.

Now, why didn't I bother, coz the place I work in has its own mysteries. Haunted ones. There have been "stories" that we had faced multiple times; hysteria, eerie sounds, moving things, bla bla bla. So today, experiencing "another" one was NOT an option.

I looked at the boy. He looked back. No expression. I looked at the others in the office, everybody seemed to be busy with their stuff at their tables. Then Hasanul (yes Aiza, Ejah. YOUR Hasanul) asked me about the 100-hours list. So I walked to him, bringing my file. So the whispering started:

Me: Sanul, you see that kid right?
Sanul: What kid?
Me: THAT kid. At the blue chair..
Sanul: *turned around*
Me: You see him?
Sanul: *clueless, blank expression*
Me: Sanul! NOT FUNNY okay!!
Sanul: What are you talking about? What kid? Are you kidding??
Me: No I'm not!
Sanul: *turned around again* There's nobody there Suzi.. *turned around again* Are you sure...?
Me: Wallahi! He's wearing Baju Melayu!
Sanul: Don't do this ehhh! I got goosebumps now...
Me: Errgh! Sanul... Not funnyyy!!! *left his table*

Then Hasanul followed me back to my desk. He stood in front of me and whispered, "Where is he? Is he behind me??" *His back was facing the kid*. I nodded slowly.

Right then, Hasanul walked to Aziz and whispered something. Aziz looked blanked. The same face expression Hasanul had a few minutes later. There, I told my self, "This can't be happening!!"

I packed my stuff, and headed to the door. "I'm going to class!!" I called out. Before I left, I turned around and faced Hasanul. "NOT funny Sanul if you DO see him!" and I made my move to my class.

In class, I sent a student to get something from my table. When he got back, he brought with him Aziz's message: "The thing you saw was not real." He said he had no idea what it meant. So I interrogated him. Asking him whether the office was empty. He said, other teachers were there.

Then I asked him what he saw at the chair. "I didn't pay attention, teacher."

Then I asked him, "Did you see a kid sitting there?"

"A kid? Yea. I saw a kid."

LOL!! People, I just got punk'd!! LOL!!

When I got back to the office, I laughed harder finding out that they got Faizul, Zir, Aziz, and Hasanul too!

Faizul panicked and urged all to leave the office - the rest laughed when he suggested that and the game was over lol.

Aziz read the Ayat Kursi - everyone joined in and raised their palms up for prayers - he stopped mid way when the kid raised his palms up too. Aziz actually thought the kid was a Muslim ghost! LOL!

When Zir came, she left immediately after "sensing" the ghost kid lol!

Then Hasanul acted as a hero, approaching the boy asking him to leave: "Pulang lah ke asal mu!" (Go back to where you belong!) Hahahahah!!

The funny story spread so quickly that we got the whole staffroom laughing.

Oh man! What a day! Ahahaha!!!

Friday, 15 April 2011

The one with the number and the (repeating) question

So it's my birthday today, which last night I thought I was gonna turn 33 but actually, 32.. I even did the calculation. Twice!

Anyway, I got like 120 birthday greetings on Fb. I'm thankful for their kind thoughts and prayers. And at the moment too, I am texting with a dear friend, who among others out there, just asked me the "question". And no, I am NOT pregnant the last time I checked.

Hubby and I have actually talked about this and we decided not to have our junior any time this year as I am waiting for an acceptance letter for me to further my studies. Hubby is concerned that if I were accepted, it would be difficult for me to focus on my studies, while at the same time having a baby. My sister-in-law is now taking her Masters Degree and it is indeed hard for her to do her assignments and projects as Baby Aqeel is on breastfeeding. Hubby sees the condition she is in and he thinks that, having our own at the moment is not a good idea. If I did not get the scholarship, then that is a different story all the way :)

Yet, this very matter makes me just wanna record the funniest I encountered so far. So last two weeks, I was sick right that I took two days off coz I lost my voice coz of sore throat. Then when I went back to work, a colleague came and asked how I was feeling. So I said, "Alhamdulillah, better," with my husky voice. Then she had 'that smile' on her face, you know, the one with the 'hidden, curious' meaning. So I gave her 'the look', which she didn't seem to understand coz the next thing she said is, "When will you due?" So I was like, "What??"

You can guess the hassle soon as I said, "No, I'm not pregnant." She insisted on saying, "You're not? Really??" Then came more female colleagues with the same question. One of them even said, "But someone said you ARE!" That baffled me!

People, I was being gossiped!

And so, the rest of the day, I was bombarded with the very same question. And I gave them the same reply. Finally tired of reasoning and all, I just said: "InsyaAllah," with a smile. I guess that would keep them quiet for a while now phew!

But later that day, in the afternoon, a student came to me and said: "So teacher, any baby yet?"

So I guess, rumours DO spread like fire!

Tuesday, 5 April 2011

The two days rest

I just got back from the clinic now. I must look a mess that the doc gave me 2 days MC. Now I am sitting at a corner of my house, no aircond & the fans are off. I am beginning to sweat now. Good! I want to get better tomorrow..

I was supposed to attend a sports selection day now but my colleagues forbid me from coming. Alhamdulillah for their understanding.

Now my eyes are heavy. The cough syrup is reacting so quickly... *yaaawn*

The sore throat and bad cough

I don't go to work today. Something was missing when I woke up this morning: my voice. So DH told me to stay home, have a rest and go to the clinic later today. I texted the admin side, and a few colleagues - I couldn't ring them up - and apologised. It's not typical of me to skip work at a very last minute but with my only weapon missing - my voice - my day today would be pretty much messed up in class, if you know what I mean. So I am getting ready to the clinic now. Good that I don't have headaches so I can assume that my Bp is not high today. Fingers cross!!

I must be lacking sleep and rest. Been a hectic week as I was pretty occupied with my sister's wedding preparations. The night before the nikah, I had to do 6 hantarans for the day, another 2 that very morning. Our morning was spent at an uncle's funeral, who passed away the night before. Later that day, I was running here and there welcoming guests and such. By evening, I was restless. Only yesterday morning that I had the cold and sore throat. And today, it has worsened *sighh*

I hope the weather would be nice to me this week. I still have 3 wedding functions to run :(((

Saturday, 26 March 2011

The second generations

We were away from home for almost a week. We missed the cats so much. I told Nadia, the hubby's sister, to upload the kitties' pictures on Facebook. Here they are. Enjoy! :)

Fluffy's Waffel; named after "Whiny+Fluffy". Logan's looking up, male kitty of Luna
Logan and Lolita, Luna's twins. Named after Luna's initial "L"
Our handsome Logan..
Our pretty Lolita..
The twins are 5 months as of yesterday, 25/03/2011. Sadly, we're letting them go, hopefully we could find cat lovers out there for them..

Wednesday, 23 March 2011

The one of those nights

Time's showing just after 2am now. I couldn't sleep. Maybe in the next hour or two I will. This has been next to typical every night since the wedding. Especially when he falls asleep first before me. We talked about this of course when he noticed that I didn't get enough sleep - from all the tantrums and headaches. I pity him sometimes when he would literally wait for me to sleep first before him. But tonight, he didn't coz he's not feeling well. Thanks to the weather. Been raining every night now and very hot and sunny during the day. Hope he will feel a lot better tomorrow. I did try talk to him to skip work tomorrow but he wouldn't listen *sigh*

Now the snoring has lessened. Always does when the time shows after 2am or so. That's one thing I still find amazing about him. He would snore and shake the room all night but at 2ish.. he's soundly asleep. Nothing else but a soft breathing sound of his. The first few weeks of our marriage, when I used to complain about my sleepless nights, he came home buying me a pair of ear plugs. Funny but sweet! He also bought me an eye patch so I would be able to sleep while he's watching tv. That's another habit of his: he has to watch tv or he won't fall asleep at all! As for me, I need lights off and complete silence to sleep. You can imagine what two different worlds we're living in.

Well, that was then. Now, I would sleep whenever I want to, though with blaring noise and blinding lights from the tv screen. I don't even use earplugs now coz I need the alarm clock to wake me up early morning to get his breakfast ready. I am grateful when he would reduce the tv volume, even switch the tv off when he noticed that I buried my self in the blanket trying to sleep. It's those little things he does that make me forever thankful that I'm his.

Oh one thing I can't sleep without every night is, the sound of his heart beating. It's become a nightly habit that I lie my ear on his chest before I cover my self with the blanket to sleep. Though for a few minutes, it never fails from carving a smile on my face. It's become a lullaby each time.

I should go to bed now. My eyes are heavy and I sure need sleep. In the next three hours, or less, I should get his breakfast ready. I missed it yesterday. I forgot to set the alarm and he left to work without waking me. When I came to, I texted him and he said: "It's ok. You need rest. Get back to sleep now."

I love this man. Changes or no changes, he's still the love of my life.

Tuesday, 22 March 2011

The come back...?

Pheww! Yea I know. Been away since the wedding. My life has changed completely since I'm his. My days start as early as 5am, preparing breakfast for him then wave him goodbye. Then off to the shower to go to work. By 4pm, stay home waiting for the hubby to come home from work. Cook dinner, sleep. Then the routine starts again the next day. And the weeks that follow.

Work? Stressful. I got piles of markings to do since I left students with assignments on my two-weeks leave on our honeymoon. At the same time, the admin made me the acting Head of Department coz our head is now on maternity leave. That leaves me with another big responsibility on my shoulder, apart from being Head of Welfare Section, Assistant Senior Mistress of Students' Affairs, bla bla bla. With short of teachers, I am now teaching 6 classes, of 3 different levels. At times, the pressure just gets to the head that I feel like quitting the job!

Two days before the school holidays start, an inspector came to see me, talking about teachers and our problems, also asking for suggestions on which classes he should visit and which teachers need support most. I was like, hey! Come to my class! Guess what he said: "Nah! You don't need help Suzi!" Okay. That made me wanted to scream on top of my lungs!

And so, I suggested two names. When the school reopens next week, he will be around the school. I confessed on the un-updated marks in my record file. When I showed him the columns, he was like: "This is ok Suzi. Don't worry much." So he went on with a number of advice like introducing peer-marking in class, homework once every week, bla bla bla. I mean, I don't know. I hated peer-marking when I was in sec school. I honestly thought my teachers were "lazy". Well, if that would lessen the pressure, I shall start doing so hmm......

Just did 3 pending work yesterday at home. There goes my one-day holiday. But at least, the burden's lessen now yea... There's actually more to do but I left them at school. Will drop by the office tomorrow.... or Saturday uhuk.... I am really trying to "feel" the holidays *drama queen*

I was thinking on going to KK or at least Miri in the hols but hubby can't take any leave :(( So it means, home is my only place to stay... and enjoy. But Nurul's wedding is in two weeks. I've to do her hantarans soon *sighhh* I need rest. It just doesn't feel like I am grasping the time completely yet..... And next week the school will reopen!

Can I quit my job already??!!!

Saturday, 19 February 2011

Greatly Missed. Forever In Our Hearts...

We had you among us
You were loved
You made us laugh
We gave you promises
You gave us trust
We didn't let go
But you left us
Too soon for goodbyes
Now we're left with cries
Oh our Prince please do know
You take our hearts with you
When you leave us with sorrow
Hoping you smile above
Free from pain
In heaven there
We'll meet again

We love you Prince Whiny
You will be forever missed

Prince Whiny borned January 2009. Left us peacefully on 14th February 2011.

Friday, 7 January 2011

The uninvited pain!

I'm having my period now. 2nd day. I always have uninvited pain from waist down every month during this very moment that would last at least 3 days. As a result, I would just lie down and sleep the whole day to kick the pain away.

And tomorrow is Berbedak ceremony. Sharul just had his tonight. We've prepared gifts and souvenirs for the guests. Having to be on the dais waiting for 200 guests to bless me during the ceremony, I do hope this period cramp would be lessened tomorrow.

I don't want any drama!

Monday, 3 January 2011

The ... Today!

I've been a "Mrs" for two days now. The hubby (still trying to get used to that very "word") is still at his place, till our Bersanding ceremony next week on 9th Jan. Everything went well alhamdulillah. With one breath, witnessed by both families, friends and neighbours, we are now officially husband and wife :'))

After all the ups and downs to the day itself, everything did fall into place. Thanks Aiza for the kind words you wrote in your blog. Love you girl! *hugs*

On that memorable morning of 1st January 2011, I only had 3 hours sleep (when I planned to wake up at 10am coz I only went to bed at 2am the night before giving touch ups on the hantarans), when my brother woke me up early. He said, a woman was looking for me. When I asked who it was, he said, he didn't know. Only saying that she was an old lady. So I thought to my self, that could be the pengangun but why was she looking for me?

So I sent him to wake our mom up. She refused (coz she also went to bed very late. Everyone did actually. Doing cleaning up and stuff). So, I went down and I recognised the face. It was the pengangun! With sleepy eyes, I tried to swallow what she was saying. She came to bath me! I was like, what?? Now? At 8am??

Then she went on babbling about stuff that she needed for the bathing ritual. So I said, I had bought the bedak lulut, but not the langir, limau kapas and candles. I sensed right away, today was gonna be hell!

Luckily, my cousin was also getting married. He happened to live nearby so mom told my brother to pick up the few stuff that we hadn't prepared (cos we weren't told about it and we didn't know she was coming and gonna bath me). Anyhow, the ritual went on. It was painful! I mean, she was really really scrubbing my skin, though eventually I loved the outcome. It had gone soft.. She left at 11am as she had to attend a groom next. She would come back to my place soon after she said.

The next thing I knew, it was almost 1pm when my make-up artist came (whom I never met so she didn't know I was the bride haha!) and soon after, our cameraman G-roy. He didn't recognise me at the door as we only met once during our pre-wedding shot and I was wearing make-up. The next hour or so, I was all ready with my nikah outfit and make-up. I felt like a superstar having gigantic lighting and cameramen at all corners, taking pictures of me and recording my every move LoL! The groom came on time. The imam came earlier. The next hour, I was signing some documents, witnessed by my dad and uncles of both sides.

Having a long name like mine, hubby couldn't read the akad nikah in one breath although after dozens of times during practice. Alhamdulillah, he managed on the actual day :')) I cried a happy tear..

We're still waiting for pictures from our photographers. Hope to see them soon! For now, these are some taken by my cousin. Happy viewing :))
I sat on a sofa during the akad nikah coz of my painful legs..
Us :)
Me and Yanti, who is now 6 months pregnant :))
Me and Yanti, Zir and some of the BLA+1. Thanks for coming girls!! :'))

Saturday, 1 January 2011

The hours to the ONE : )

Tomorrow is the day. I am not panicking yet. Nervous? Maybe a bit. It's worrying coz it seems to be that I am not like any other brides out there. Mom is panicking like, all the time. But I would just tend to ... relax. Too relax I think ..

Maybe I should just go to bed. After all, it's almost 3am now. I haven't had enough sleep lately, with the room and the cleaning. The hantarans ... I wish tomorrow will be fine.

And I have pimples on my face dammit!!

I AM AN ARIES: The Daredevil (huh??)

Energetic (yea, in many ways)

Adventurous and spontaneous (definitely)

Confident and enthusiastic (yup!)

Fun (hmm ... I should ask my friends that!)

Loves a challenge (100%)

EXTREMELY impatient (well, I hate waiting. Does that count??)

Sometimes selfish (am I??)

Short fuse; easily angered (hell yeah!)

Lively, passionate and sharp wit (hmm ... No comment!)

Outgoing (for sure!)

Lose interest quickly - easily bored (most of the time)

Egostical (in some ways; my baby says "in MANY ways" LOL!!)

Courageous and assertive (I agree!)

Tends to be physical and athletic (hmm ... Naah!!)

Fun with your photos
Created with - photo fun

My engagement: 01.01.10

My engagement: 01.01.10
Suzila Ahmad

The engagement ring :)

A cake from him

For him

With my dad & Sharul's :)

With my mum and his :)

With two of my closest girlfriends: Azean & Yanti :)