The One Without Him...

Hi all.. How have you been? Funny thing is, I just figured out how to log in here, again, after for so long. The thing is, I had opened another blog that I was required to when I attended the course in East West Center a few months ago, but using my gmail account. Believe me, I have always wanted to update news and stories and such (like I used to) for quite a while now, but every time I did try to, I always ended up loggin in to the other, shall I call it... educational blog.

Anyway, everything is going on well. My other half is now in KL with his cousin. I was supposed to go with them, but my condition does not allow me to. In fact, I had planned to visit a blogger friend's kindy, and I still owe another blogger friend some tea break. Aiza and Izz, we shall meet one day. Next year, ok! ;) *Miss you girls. Mwahh!!

The new school term is starting soon. Very soon. The 4 weeks break went by so fast. Maybe because I didn't get to go anywhere like I used to, especially in December. This year, I just stay home, watch TV. Sleep. Eat. Then sleep again. When the mood struck, I'd take out the unfinished workloads (which are still, some of them, untouched now), and try to finish them bit by bit. The thing is, while I was away for the 3-month course, the work I left behind was piling up. At times, I had a sense of regrets for attending the course, especially when stress was at its peak. Too many things happened the past few months, especially after the course I attended.

But for now, everything is fine. Without him around, I did cry a tear missing him. He said, "I'll be home soon." He must've found me funny.

Only two days of him leaving, I have cried like a baby! This sunken feeling must go. If only that DQ ice-cream is here. Sighh....!!

The BUS ELEP 2013 video - Part 1

So, my journey in BUS ELEP 2013 has almost ended now. As far as I long for home, I also feel that I will miss my "family" in this programme. 

Here I share with you a video of the programme that one of us made. I shall cherish the moments and memories in the programme. May our friendship last forever. 

Thanks to Sam for the video! :)

The counting continues....

6 more days, and I shall be in the arms of my husband and family. 

Last Friday, we moved from Abraham Lincoln Hall at East West Center to Ambassador Hotel at Waikiki. The first night here, Amy and I went out to hunt for food for iftar: we were just too tired to cook after the whole day spent on packing, loading and unloading our luggage. After those multiple times of shopping, the impact has taken its toll! I think, we all have over exceeded our luggage weight! Whoops!!

So we had sushi at Doraku Restaurant for iftar. My treat, coz Amy had treated me some appetizers at this coffee shop just a few blocks away from the restaurant. I love its Caramel Mocha. I've had it twice and surely will have another one before leaving Hawaii.

My Saturday and Sunday were spent staying in the hotel room. I found the aura around Waikiki as just too.... strange for me. Having a 5-minute walk to the beach, you can see men and women in their shorts and bikinis. Something I choose not to see, especially now it's Ramadhan time. Call me conservative, but I just don't wanna lessen my pahala puasa. Enough said.

Besides, the wind is just too cold for me. It hits me to the bones. The last thing I want right now is my asthma to come back, which I usually get every time I masuk angin. 

6 more days, and I think I need to repack my bags. I sensed that one is heavier than the other.. We'll see!

The moments : missing him...

14 more days... and I will be home!

This is my first time away from DH and familuz. It is harder when pressure is at its peak, especially when I find it difficult to catch up with the course content in the programme. Back in Brunei, I had him to lean on and him to wipe away my tears. Here... :(

And I miss them nephews! :'(

The Ups and Downs : Life in Hawaii

So.. Here I am on the beautiful green island of Oahu for the past two weeks. 70 of us landed on Honolulu on 27th June 2013 after about 36 hours leaving the land of hidden treasure, Brunei Darussalam.

We were grateful by the warm welcome by the people of East West Center, the institution that has been giving us the shelter to stay and grab precious knowledge for a month stay here in Hawaii.

Life here is not very much different from the life back home. The people are friendly and it is very safe to go everywhere here. The only difference would be the difficulty in finding halal food in every store in the city. So basically, we, the Muslims, rely on vegetables and fruits to survive, although some of us did bring canned foods and instant noodles from home.

Despite being home sick and missing family at home, friends here have been very wonderful and I must say, we have become one big family now, especially in the month of Ramadhan when we fast as part of our responsibilities as Muslims. The pain of being away from family has lessen now we face Ramadhan together and break iftar as one big family. Alhamdulillah.

Other meaningful moments here in Hawaii are obviously the tours we were taken to by the East West Center. I can never forget the beauty of Hanaoma Bay, the serene sight of Nu'uani Pali Lookout, and the cold windy experience looking out for blow holes on the beautiful rocky beach. The visit at Bishop Museum had also taught me the life of Hawaiians in the past, as well as the history of their Royals. A close encounter with a Pearl Harbor Attack survivor, Jimmy Lee, in our visit to the Arizona Memorial was also a dear to my heart. Watching the actual video footage of the attack, and standing in front of the Memorial Wall did not fail to shed me tears of agony.

I will still be here in the next two weeks, and I am sure more memories are in the making. I may be missing home right now, but I am sure when I leave here, I shall be missing my one-month life here in Hawaii.

10.12.2001 - 10.12.2011

I've been away for too long now but today is an exception. Gotta blog about our 10th anniversary tonight.

Alhamdulillah. We're still strong now. Hope to see another 10 years of us together InsyaAllah.

No special treatment today as DH was out working till 7pm. I am under the weather too so not in the mood to celebrate really. I spent most of the day in bed, feeling queasy all day. It's worse today after a few days. Friends are already congratulating me on Fb, hoping that Suzila's junior is on the way. Even DH was asking the same question. Well, it's still early to answer that coz my period is in the next 10 days at least. InsyaAllah. May the best be for us both, aamiiin.

Happy anniversary to you sayang. I wanted to write longer but can't think straight right now. I guess the cold night wind outside the house has gotten into me now. I know, I know. I should've listened to you. What do you expect. It's full eclipse tonight. Everybody is busy talking about it and you know me too well to just ignore that right!

Anyway, he did say, "Ain't our anniversary special tonight?"

He may be the least romantic husband there ever is around but once he opens that mouth of his, he always melts my heart.

I love you sayang!!

The day Ramadhan cries

It's almost 7am now on 29th Ramadhan 1432H. It's been raining since before 6am today. I can't get back to sleep after sahur. In fact, I woke hubby up an hour earlier than our usual sahur time. I cooked some noodles for us at 1am coz he requested for indomie. I thought, why not cooking him noodles instead.

Well, he chose to have some McD's he bought in Miri yesterday for sahur. His tummy aches since 4 days ago and he has been very selective of food he takes - which ironically, some fast food and indomie are in his wish list. I told him to have him checked at the clinic but he refused to do so. He said he hated seeing doctors especially now. I say, it's his kiddy side talking. He chose to go to work instead and spend hours in the loo every day.

But the heavy rain is a big help today. It makes him stay in bed! He even asked me whether he should go to work or not. Of course I said he shouldn't. I used the heavy rain as an excuse, which he listened. If my charm had gone rusty, I'd use any tricks there are to keep him in bed with that condition!

So, he's sound asleep now, while here I am blogging as I can't get back to sleep since sahur. My eyes are heavy but the brain just refuses to sleep. So the brain wanders...

I think it rained this heavy last year on this very day. The year before too. And the year before that. People say, end of Ramadhan always rains showing that the spirits of the dead are crying as they have to leave families and friends behind. They cry because they have to wait another year to pay visits to the living. They cry because they want to stay longer, and never return to where they belong. They cry because of the sadness they can't bear inside. What say you?

I say, Ramadhan is sad leaving us. And I believe Ramadhan is sad when people play fireworks every night. It must feel like he is unwanted. I believe Ramadhan is sad when the radio is playing Raya songs as early as 7th day of fasting. Also sad when people are busy making kuehs and cakes for Raya instead of embracing him at all times.

I say, Ramadhan is sad witnessing certain people choose to stay home than spending time at the masjids. Or choose to sleep all day than waking up reciting those holy verses. Or stay awake during the nights performing Tarawikhs and Witr. I say, some of us forget to do our best in Ramadhan. These, among other things, make Ramadhan cry.

And I think Ramadhan is unhappy because I have not spent much time with him this year. I think I will forget him tomorrow but Ramadhan will come and see me again next year, if Allah wills it. I hope Allah wills it..

Ramadhan is crying still now. Now I am sad. My heart breaks letting him go, every time. And it's always too late to realise it...