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Thursday, 23 April 2009

Programmed ... Aren't We?

Hi guys! Just got here. Didn't get the chance to go online yesterday. Was a long day *thinking* ... Ok, I seriously forgot what I did yesterday! Will update you later when it comes around! Erk!! (Sign of aging?? Huhu~~) ..

I finally managed to drag my baby out to the movie today to watch "He's Just Not That Into You". We met Fred, Fay, Fendy and Lyna, also a friend of theirs. It's my second time watching it: the first time with Lulu and Leng. And you know what, I still shed a tear watching some of the touchy scenes of the movie, especially when Gigi argued with Alex and the last part when Beth found something in her boyfriend's pocket (am not gonna spoil it! It's the sweetest part of the movie I must say). And of course when Gigi was an 'exception' to her own love life drama :-) She is one sweet girl. Her innocence reminds me a lot of my blogger friend, Izz ;-) Sayang you Izz! Jangan marah!! Hehe :-p

Come to think of it, it's like a smack to the head realising how we women have been 'programmed' by the, shall I say, 'face saving acts'. We refuse to accept the bad ends but make a few dramatic twists so to suit our needs and wants, like what Alex said, we make our life complicated when men try to make (or show) to the point, right to our faces! We women are the drama queens of our own worlds. I find it funny yet insulting at the same time but can't really reject the 'truth' either, especially ones pointed out by Alex. Dude! He's so right!! Well, at least I think he is .. not sure 'bout you girls out there ;-)

Speaking from experience, before I met Sharul, I had my own love life drama. Believe it or not, I've had experiences with someone's else's husband, fiance and boyfriend. All the 3 said, "I met you too late Suzi," but they got on with their lives anyway, with their partners. And so, yep! I ditched them (I didn't know they were attached when we first met).

The worst line was, "My life will never be the same without you." And I swallowed it, and let them go. I fed myself with all those foods I could find and eventually grew bigger in size erk! I was feeling so bad for leaving them, wondering how my life would turn out to be IF I chose to stay and be the bitch. What a drama! But after watching this movie, I said to myself .. Damn! I was so dumped!!!

Food. Yes, speaking of food .. I do think we're somehow 'programmed' in such a way that we'd be accepted among all, especially by those who've been watching their diets and smoothness of their beautiful skins. I remember when I was a teen, I'd eat when I felt like it, unnoticing what others might've thought of my 'way' of feeding myself. Til that one day, during Eid, when I went out with my 2 girlfriends. We were out visiting some friends' houses with some senior boys, one of them happened to be 1 of the girls' cousin.

So, my favourite dish for Raya has always been the Cornflakes biscuit. You know, the one with the honey and butter and sugar and bla bla bla (sia2 pun!). Anyway, I was munching 1. Then another. Then the 3rd, you know, innocently. When the plate was almost finished, my pretty girlfriends 'laughed' at me! I was like ... what' so funny? And they said, "You finished all?" You know, in a mocking kind of tune. Then I realised the mountain-like wrapping papers of the biscuits on the table. I wondered, what's wrong with that? but finally got the idea when they didn't 'actually' eat any of the dishes served: practically showing off their 'limitations' to eating too much in front of the boys or maybe so to keep their red shiny lipstick on all the time! Since then, I watched what I ate, or 'how much' I ate any food served, as I realised others 'would' be watching, or even 'counting'. I was programmed!!

Sometimes now, I still feel the 'threat'. When my friends couldn't finish their food and had stopped eating, I'd do the same despite the urge I had of wanting to finish off the tiny bits of pieces on my plate. Why? The worries. The mocks. 'That' look. I have been programmed to watch .. and stop, my eating urges. And still I grow big! Ahahaha :-P

I've been programmed in so may ways, I know. I can feel it! I'm sure I'll figure it out soon enough ;-)

Oh, it just struck me! Yesterday, I went to the movie watching 'The Mall Cop' with Sharul. Before that we had lunch at Soto Tinis. Sharul didn't eat anything. He was on a 2-day MC. He caught a fever last Tuesday (39 degrees) and I took him to the clinic at Ong Sum Ping that night. Yesterday, he was as fit as a horse! And today, we went out again. He is enjoying his 2 days off ;-)

PS: Happy birthday to my sister Leej! Love ya sis! Mwahs!!


izz said...

tak marah...senyum je.. ;-)

Suzila A said...

Heee :-D *hugs*

I AM AN ARIES: The Daredevil (huh??)

Energetic (yea, in many ways)

Adventurous and spontaneous (definitely)

Confident and enthusiastic (yup!)

Fun (hmm ... I should ask my friends that!)

Loves a challenge (100%)

EXTREMELY impatient (well, I hate waiting. Does that count??)

Sometimes selfish (am I??)

Short fuse; easily angered (hell yeah!)

Lively, passionate and sharp wit (hmm ... No comment!)

Outgoing (for sure!)

Lose interest quickly - easily bored (most of the time)

Egostical (in some ways; my baby says "in MANY ways" LOL!!)

Courageous and assertive (I agree!)

Tends to be physical and athletic (hmm ... Naah!!)

Fun with your photos
Created with - photo fun

My engagement: 01.01.10

My engagement: 01.01.10
Suzila Ahmad

The engagement ring :)

A cake from him

For him

With my dad & Sharul's :)

With my mum and his :)

With two of my closest girlfriends: Azean & Yanti :)