This reminds me a lot when I was turning 20 ten years ago. I was in such denial that I refused to open the presents from my friends right up to the time when it showed 11:55pm (coz that was the time I was actually born). My heart beat fast as the time ticking to the exact hour. I just didn't want to turn 20! I wanted to remain 19 at least hehehe :P I think I cried a tear even erk!!
I don't quite feel the same as 10 years ago now. I am not excited. Not scared. Nervous? Maybe. But just can't find a reason why I should feel that way. Happy? Hmmm ... Yea, in a way. I am glad Allah has made my life this long, Alhamdulillah :-) Sad? Definitely not. But there are other things that get me thinking as I reach the digit 3. Things like ... Maturity. Future. Looks (obviously!). Health. Marriage. Kids. Well, the sort. A lot more. And so far, I have got a few in hand.
1. I can take care of myself (though basically I am obliged to staying with my parents til I am entitled to become a 'wife' to a somebody). At times, it's me my family turns to in terms of family matters. I am a halper. A problem solver. Without me, my mother's gonna be helpless. She always says this. So yes, I am a reliable mature woman (though am still a 'kid' to Sharul's eyes :P).
2. My future is yet to clear, either good or bad, I leave it all to Him. So far I've got my secure profession. I've got a car (though not a dream car of mine huhu). Financially, I am still struggling. I wanna own a house before I am 40 :)
3. I am still working on my looks. Gotta prepare myself for my big day next year huhu~~ I don't want to show pictures of my big fat bottom sitting on the aile to my grandchildren. It's my greatest nightmare!!
4. Alhamdulillah. I haven't had asthma attack since the last visit to the doc a few weeks ago. I still depend on the puffer, in case I get the attack anytime. And since the transfer, I haven't got major headaches anymore. So it's obvious that I seriously had high BP back then due to the pressure at work. Alhamdulillah ya Allah :-)
5. InsyaAllah, the big day will go on as planned. Sharul wants us to have babies (see the plural form there) soon after the wedding but I want to have at least a year to become his 'baby' ;) InsyaAllah. I need your blessing and prayers too people :-)
6. I have friends around. Azean still peaks the rest. BLA+1 are also the best I have around in life. I hope these friendships will last, so as my friendships with you guys out there. The older I get, the more friends I have. Strangers become friends. Friends become companions. You're one of them. You know who you are. Thank you very much :-) *hugs*
So, I have plans for tomorrow. I've shared with all the lists. I've got a place in mind for my night with Sharul tomorrow *blushing* and I hope it will turn well as planned. I have one problem left.
I don't know whether to buy me the cake, or Sharul would. But since today's his mother's birthday, and he's buying one for her, I strongly think he's buying one for me too ;)
I will book the table after work tomorrow. I want it different this year. I want it specially celebrated with him. Sharul has promised to leave work early tomorrow too so I'm sure it will turn great!
Age is just a number. I always say it to birthday friends on their days too. So now, I am saying the same line to my self.
And I wanna add to that ...
And sure I will!! :)