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Seconds ticking since Suzila is HIS

Saturday, 20 June 2009

Status: ...shocked...tired...demotivated...

Am sick of people around me who are soooo pretentious! I've wasted my trust on them, my respect on them bla bla bla. But at the same time I am forever grateful coz among these fake faces, there's one or two who'd stand up for me and fight for me, though I never asked them to.

Alhamdulillah. Allah knows best. He only tests His servants to their own limitations. In sadness and pain, I thank Him for His blessings. Thank you ya Allah...

I admit, I am sad. Shocked. Demotivated ... again. I tried to rise again and when I almost did, I got hit again. Backstabbed again. Now, by the one person I respected most. The one I adored. Someone I see as a 'mother'. A friend of my mum's. My mum is hurt too. We're speechless.

I am tired. Now, I am officially demotivated. I don't hate my job. I hate the fact that I've wasted my pure trust on someone and blindly let it crush and tear apart.

I rather have them, and her, say all their heart out to my face, than had to spend their precious time complaining about me to those people up there. What an effort to waste!

Why spent their time badmouthing me? Who am I that they so care about? Don't they know I am a NOBODY?? I am just a simple civilian who uses all her strength and drains her sweat to make ends meet.

I hope they quit. Coz I am tired. I wonder if they ever feel exhausted talking about me. I hope they stop. Coz it's not going anywhere.

Coz I am a NOBODY ... I mean it!

And now I wanna be away from all these mess. I want silence. I am broken. I need peace. I feel like crying but I got no more tears to cry. I got no more tears left after those repeating stabs. I've cried before. I think the tears are tired too. No more!

I got one place in mind, but I can't go there now *sigh*










5 comments:

Princess Gizmo said...

Sabar dear.. Memang mcm2 dugaan hidup..

Lulu said...

Dont be sad, Suzi.. you are not a nobody, you are someone who is not selfish and works hard with so much sincerity and commitment to the job.. you sacrificed your time and rest to get things done even when you were not well.. not many ppl do that.. dont let their negativity put you down.. learn from that experience and become stronger..

izz said...

be strong sis!!
anyway. thanx for ur sms..
hope everything will be alright for u (n for me too..;D..)

Suzila A said...

thanks girls. am tired with all the politics. i need a break.

if only quitting the job is a wise option *sigh*

Suzila A said...

izz, u too. be strong ya sis *hugs*

I AM AN ARIES: The Daredevil (huh??)

Energetic (yea, in many ways)

Adventurous and spontaneous (definitely)

Confident and enthusiastic (yup!)

Fun (hmm ... I should ask my friends that!)

Loves a challenge (100%)

EXTREMELY impatient (well, I hate waiting. Does that count??)

Sometimes selfish (am I??)

Short fuse; easily angered (hell yeah!)

Lively, passionate and sharp wit (hmm ... No comment!)

Outgoing (for sure!)

Lose interest quickly - easily bored (most of the time)

Egostical (in some ways; my baby says "in MANY ways" LOL!!)

Courageous and assertive (I agree!)

Tends to be physical and athletic (hmm ... Naah!!)

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My engagement: 01.01.10

My engagement: 01.01.10
Suzila Ahmad

The engagement ring :)

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With my dad & Sharul's :)

With my mum and his :)

With two of my closest girlfriends: Azean & Yanti :)
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