... Mixed Feelings ...

Today I was greatly affected by the most disturbing video I have ever seen. Even talking about it breaks my heart into pieces... It was my brother who showed it to me this morning when I was preparing myself for Ayut's wedding. I had to stop watching, not wanting to see the ending of it.

Rumours had it that the 'incident' happened in Malaysia. It was about this young girl assaulted, beaten, kicked, you name it, by a circle of men! My brother said the girl left her fiance a week before they got married and got back to her ex-boyfriend. The ex-fiance, who was a gangster, I supposed, was not satisfied thus 'the incident' happened. She died eventually after her head was stoned. Even when I am typing this, I can still visualize the bruises on her thighs. Yes ... She was half naked too ... Sad but true. What's worse, she was only 17 ... Such a young age ... :'(

Back to my room, I went online with mixed feeling. I detest any bad treatment on women. We should be protected, NOT ... Well anyway, I saw Edib online. He's Zean's cousin who is a Malaysian. So, I asked him whether it was true. He told me to check a video up on Youtube. There, I saw the same video! This time, shown on CNN.

Apparently, the incident happened in an Iraqi province, not in Malaysia! The girl fell in love with a guy from a different sect, which was, according to the report, against their cultures. Hence, the killing, which they argued to be a 'punishment honoured by the Holy Koran'. Astarghfirullahal'aziiim ... As far as I know, and I am 100% sure, that such 'punishment' is NOT written in our Holy Book! I've never heard of any surahs saying THAT!! Assaulting a weak servant just because she fell in love with a 'forbidden' man. What's more killing her in public by tens of big men and simply watched by securities! Worst of all, she was half naked!! No laws in Islam saying anything of such punishment in any case!! Astarghfirullahal'aziiim!!!

This has really made my day! The whole scene kept playing in my head. Seeing Ayut smiling happily on the aisle also made my brain trace back to the poor girl. She could be smiling proudly as a bride today if ... and only if ... her family allowed her to live and marry her boyfriend. Families are supposed to protect us, especially women. NOT ... [Sigh! :'(]

I have mixed feelings. From Ayut's wedding, I met Sharul. I told him everything. He was speechless. Hurting women is just not his kind of thing. For 6 years we were together, he never raised his voice at me, what's more hurting me. Alhamdulillah ... Later today, we watched 'Iron Man' at Qlap Cineplex. I know he was trying to cheer me up but really, it haunted me in between the movie.

Just now, I chatted with Raheemah, a dear friend of mine, whom I seek advice on the matter. Not that I doubt our Holy Book but just trying to have an opinion about it, since she's one of the many religious girlfriends that I have. After the talking, I feel a bit relief now, though there's still a lump in my heart and a dent in my head on the scene that seems neverending in my brain. I hope I can get it to doze off later or else, I'd wake up with black cirles tomorrow ...

Ya Allah! I beg for your mercy on your humble servant for I am weak at heart who hopes for your loving attention. For you are the Greatest and Most Merciful. Forgive me My Lord ... :'(