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Tuesday 6 May 2008

Wife Search Dilemma: Dedicated to Abdul

I know the topic sends irony in you but believe me, it is happening in this century still.

Abdul is a dear friend of mine. Born as an Afghan, he's brought up well, educated and loved by all. One thing that I respect about this man is, how he waited for his sisters to enter the world of marriage yet to have his own. Now that they're happily married, it's time for his turn. Unfortunately for him, as he always said, it's not easy to search a wife.

What happened really? He's got the looks, the brains and the job. He's also got a good foundation, having a strong faith in Allah. And today, we talked about the video I wrote about in my previous post. I am so glad knowing he's against that kind of punishment. Having done his research on that before, he condemns those who said it's allowed by Islamic Law. It is actually a practice done by tribes to protect them from shame. When I asked him whether it still happens there or not, unfortunately, he said, it happens EVERYDAY there in Afghanistan ... Shocking!

The punishments are done either by stoning, beating or hanging the 'sinners' to death. More shockingly, the practice is carried out without guilt and if ever those punished are still alive after being stoned, they'll be 'allowed' to live but if they end up dead, they'll be buried and left forgotten as 'shame' is now erased.

Now, who are the 'sinners'? They include those who enjoy even a 5 minute conversation between a non-mahram male and female. If they're caught talking, both are 'entitled' for the punishments. If ever a boy says a name of a non-mahram girl, questions will raise - Do you know the girl? How do you know the girl? Have you ever talked to the girl? Allah knows what will happen to the boy ... and the girl ...

So, back to my poor Afghan friend here, it's been difficult for him to search for a wife. We know what will happen if he ever approaches a girl right? So, the only solution is, arranged marriage. It took all his effort to find husbands for his sisters but it is more difficult to find a wife for himself. Adding to this, the 'practice', which is culturally 'legal' in his country, has made it even more complicated for him to ever find someone to spend his life with.

Knowing Abdul for almost a year now, I learnt that he is a very caring person. A family type guy even - a kind that is becoming extinct nowadays.

Our conversation today ended with me asking him "What would you do if your sister ever fell in love with a guy and you found out about it. Will you 'punish' her too like the others do?"

His answer carved a wide smile on my face. He said "I would never allow it done to my sister. If I caught her in that condition, I would marry them and try my very best to keep it from spreading. I am an educated man Suzi."

Alhamdulillah. I have finally found someone who agrees with me, who, ironically, comes from those countries that still see 'the practice' legal.

Alhamdulillah ...

No comments:

I AM AN ARIES: The Daredevil (huh??)

Energetic (yea, in many ways)

Adventurous and spontaneous (definitely)

Confident and enthusiastic (yup!)

Fun (hmm ... I should ask my friends that!)

Loves a challenge (100%)

EXTREMELY impatient (well, I hate waiting. Does that count??)

Sometimes selfish (am I??)

Short fuse; easily angered (hell yeah!)

Lively, passionate and sharp wit (hmm ... No comment!)

Outgoing (for sure!)

Lose interest quickly - easily bored (most of the time)

Egostical (in some ways; my baby says "in MANY ways" LOL!!)

Courageous and assertive (I agree!)

Tends to be physical and athletic (hmm ... Naah!!)

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My engagement: 01.01.10

My engagement: 01.01.10
Suzila Ahmad

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