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Monday, 3 November 2008

The Past is Still Haunting ..

Back in Uni, I was backstabbed by a very close friend whom I worshipped to death. I trusted her, made her the first, even shared her my mum. We were like sisters. I had never had the closest friend as her and at times, I still miss her, even now.

What she did was just too much. Somehow, it's just unexplained why she ever did that to me after what we had gone through together. She even made my mum cry ....... The scar is still here and I am traumatised to ever trust anyone I called friends. Even my bestfriend, Azean, had to 'propose' me to be a friend of hers, which took me a while to accept as I was in such pain.

Now, it seems happening again, not to me, but between my two close friends. I guess I am trapped between the two. I don't want to add up the list of my 'ex-friends', nor do I want them to add theirs. For sure, it would not be the same again if ever they decided 'not' to be friends anymore.

I am sad. Very sad .........

All I wanted to do was to make things clear between them cause I'm sure what happens is a misunderstanding. I've known them for quite a long time and simply by listening to a third party or whoever is just not a right thing to do in a friendship. It happened to me, and it hurts. The last thing I want to do is causing pain to any of my friends. Cause I know, that feeling kills!

I am sad, and upset ......... And I know crying is not a solution.

To my two close friends ..... Please be friends again. Face the problem in a mature way. Don't stay away from each other or turn away. It won't help, trust me. I've done my part, which I am sorry if ever I've caused anyone of you to be mad, or feel backstabbed. My intention is just to keep our friendships strong. Nothing more, nothing less.

I hurt both of you, I know. I am sorry. As I said, I am not siding anyone. Please, settle this. Let's be friends again ........



ANIH said...

hye sis..

sabar ah.. du be sad. I noe how u feel. Been der.. alum jua lama.. yth pyh ni kes tak tersengaja tercaught in da middle between close friends ah. Eyh.. hard to xplain lah.. tpksa jga hti jua.
Ytha my sis marah. ktanya aku involve arh people's life sdh.. Banggg!! barat mua ku.. tpi bkn aku yg minta.. liat lah situation like dis ah.. f t,kana dapat kitani m,elak kan?? nda kan sis. Tpi kitani yang suffer..

Sabar sja sis.. kitani mampu menasihati sja kan. Mudahan settle evrythang lah ah.. berdamai cara baik.. Manusia mna yng tak lepas dri melakukan ksilapan kan.. Yang penting sedar dan meminta maaf & jdi pengajaran n jgn dibuat apth lagi bila menyinggung perasaan kwn.

Ermm.. na me brani bnyk komen sis.. takut ada yg berusik hti. P yth ni. sigh~

once again sabar sis.. u tahu apa u buat ah..

Suzila A said...

Anih .. Thanks sis. I hope everything will go back to the way it was.

I hate backstabber!! Banar tah!

I have done my part and now I leave it them to settle it. I hope everything will go back to normal, macam dulu. Nda siuk tu ling kalau ... :(

Sigh~ Payah ehhh!!

Anonymous said...

sabar je la...biasa la backstabbers ni...dunno la...i went thro the same thing too..but long time ago la psl since it happened...i dah malas nak berkawan..and i stopped trusting people so yeah..thats why la i prefer to be independant...senang skit. but it's different la for other people...some people mmg nak save me...kalau lagi sakitkan hati...i angkat kaki je and blah.

I AM AN ARIES: The Daredevil (huh??)

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Suzila Ahmad

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