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Wednesday, 27 May 2009

That Repeating Routine

The sun comes up but the eyes are too heavy to open. Even the sound of the alarm clock in the ear isn't giving much impact.

The routine starts again.

The routine that suffocates you in some ways.

The minutes pass and the next thing you know, you're driving that car of yours - that monopolies 40% of your monthly salary - to work, listening to the ever boring adverts, the 'Aunty May' or the 'On the Go' whatsoever after the 7am news. Changing the station isn't helping much either. The next option, listening to your CD, but your hands are busy on the wheels to even change it to the ones you got in the CD bags. The morning sun has shone brighter, but not your mood.

At work, dragging those files and bags to the office, your feet seem to move slower that you want them to. Smile creeps on your face but the heart isn't. It still longs for one particular place you call 'home'. You reply 'hello' and 'hi' but you don't seem to remember the faces. You nod to those faces that aren't familiar, making your brain work when they actually say your name. The head is heavy, heavier than the heart as you step your foot into your big office.

The table is clear. This you remember as you make it a habit of cleaning it up and stacking the paperwork and due date memos up high so it looks neat and welcoming the next morning.

It never works.

You still wish you're somewhere else.

The minute you sit down, the phone rings. There you go! The first case arrives. The next thing you know, you miss your lunch, even a sip of the water that you bring from home.

Afternoon is often filled with meetings and courses that you're obliged to attend. At many times, you get something good in hand. In other times, you feel like you're wasting your afternoon nap time. When you're lucky, you'll get free 'late-lunch' before leaving the gatherings. IF you're lucky! If you aren't, you'll be driving home with an empty tummy.

Even then, you still clean up your desk so the next day's routine will not be like today's. The hope is always there.

The days to come only start when those eyes open with the alarm clock sound in your ear.

The routine starts again. And your mind wonders: Is it time to switch profession?

Maybe it is time ..


Seagull said...

Yeap! When we don't like our working environment & ppl around, the routine is a drag in the morning. U are not alone!

Suzila A said...

Hmm .. I'm seriously thinking of switching jobs.

I think my job now is killing me softly and slowwwly. Yet again, I know it should've come from me. I'm the one who don't know HOW to tackle my stress and depression over my demanding job.

Oh maybe I should just quit huh! Darn!!!

Anonymous said...

I hate the routine too. What I hate the most is that I usually have breakfast & lunch in my car because I'm in a hurry to go to work or a meeting. Ain't that sad?

Suzila A said...

Anonymous ...

Bleurrgh!! Same here! Sometimes, no lunch & off to a meeting or course. Thank God mum packs me my breakfast. It's sometimes untouched though since workloads are high up on the table *sigh*

We need a break, don't we?

I AM AN ARIES: The Daredevil (huh??)

Energetic (yea, in many ways)

Adventurous and spontaneous (definitely)

Confident and enthusiastic (yup!)

Fun (hmm ... I should ask my friends that!)

Loves a challenge (100%)

EXTREMELY impatient (well, I hate waiting. Does that count??)

Sometimes selfish (am I??)

Short fuse; easily angered (hell yeah!)

Lively, passionate and sharp wit (hmm ... No comment!)

Outgoing (for sure!)

Lose interest quickly - easily bored (most of the time)

Egostical (in some ways; my baby says "in MANY ways" LOL!!)

Courageous and assertive (I agree!)

Tends to be physical and athletic (hmm ... Naah!!)

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My engagement: 01.01.10
Suzila Ahmad

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