As I have shared in my previous entry Just Being Me, I feel the pain of my beloved ones' agony. How does it feel? It feels that my whole world cracks down as theirs do. If I could take their hearts out, I'd do just that so they won't have to go through all the grief and misery. But, how would I take on the brutal truth about something from those I cherished dearly? The brutal truth that shatters my heart? Of course, I'd die on the spot. The heart would tear apart and only time would make it whole again.
I had rather a deep conversation with a colleague today, whom had recently broken up with his long term girlfriend. She cheated on him and it had made him realised that doing the best for our loved ones does not guarantee a happy ending. I nodded to that, as I had experienced it too. How do we reflect to that? We both believe that our heart has its own minds and soul. When we get hurt, its soul dies off and it's left with emptiness. Even anger can't beat this. Sometimes, the heart sends its signal to the brain: "Enough!" Now, when it says this, what happens to you? You tell me!
Whatever I do, I'd make sure my loved ones be the highest priority. It's just the right thing to do cause when they smile happily with joy, that would be the best moment that my heart receives. If they cry, the heart cries too and I'd work things out just to see those faces carve those wide grins again.
The heart has its own minds. I assume, misunderstanding happens when the heart gives out those sense of jealousy or insecurity. And so, it comes back to one's trust to those he/she loves. When trust has gone, other thoughts (or minds) of the heart takes control. It worsens when 'pride' barges in and crashes every single pieces of trust that is ever remained. What happens next? The heart dies off of course ...
When it's too late, when the heart says "Enough!", this is when everything ends. Now tell me, is this what we want?? For sure, I don't. The little piece of my heart still remains intact, thought it's torn apart. But my loved ones are still around supporting it to move on.
Will I give up and hurt them? No, I won't. Definitely not. My heart and theirs are one. Though the bigger piece of my heart has gone, its 'minds' still zip its mouth shut from saying "Enough!".
And I am glad it doesn't do so just yet ...
Posted by Suzila A on October 23, 2008 9:08 PM